Yak Exclusive: ANTM All Star Lisa D’Amato Speaks Up Against Bullying

America’s Next Top Model All Star (& ANTM Cycle 5) and one of my absolute FAVORITE people, Lisa D’Amato, took some time out of her busy schedule to send her thoughts, exclusively to the Yak, regarding bullying and the Anti-Bullying movement.

We would like to send a personal thanks and shout out to Lisa for taking the time to tell her story and be a part of this important movement. In an effort to join forces and increase awareness, we encourage you to share these stories with your friends and family and encourage continuous efforts to make a difference! We all are capable and we just hope that this motivates and encourages each and every one of us to take a stand and put a stop to bullying once and for all. YakkityYaks, don’t talk smack!

Here is Lisa’s story:

___________________________________

[singlepic id=676 w=320 h=240 float=]When I was in elementary school, I was dealing with a crazy unmothering mom, a dad with a heart of gold, and a divorce and custody battle. My mom trying to win us over just to spite my dad and on top of that I was a kid that had no friends. There were these girls that would call me names all day everyday: ugly, stupid, disgusting etc. I was the girl who played tether ball by herself and would think about how to make these girls stop. I thought of the greatest plan! I was gonna buy them each a really nice Christmas present from Sanrio Surprises (Hello Kitty stuff) (I was in 4th grade)  in hopes that they would lay off of me a bit and maybe be nice to me. I saved all my birthday money amd garage sale money and wrapped really cute stuff for them after months of saving and gave them their gifts. After I gave them their presents with nice cards expressing how I’d love for them to be my friends, I ended up being an even bigger laughing stock of our whole 4th grade as the outcast trying to “buy friendship”. Everyone started asking me for presents laughing. I’ll never forget how horrible it was to be me and wished I could just disappear from life all together.

This didn’t stop for years. My mom won the custody battle and my sister and I’s life became lives of fear and pain. When you are coming of age and know that you are different then the rest it is heart breaking. There comes a point in your life when you kinda just snap and realize that maybe you don’t want or need their approval and wouldn’t want to be like them anyway. It comes kinda as a break down but truly it’s a break through!!!

Be you TIFUL!  If God wanted us all to be the same then why would he make us so different? Life is beautiful and it IS because of the ones that are so different: YOU! WE are the ones with the strength and power to be the voice of change and acceptance so that we can make the world a better place- not “THEM”.

Don’t stop dreaming and don’t stop working towards your dreams because this is your life not theirs. We all have our own individual journey’s, including theirs, but ours has a lot more bumps in the road to train us to be that much more powerful. They can buy their happiness by being weapons of mass consumption but they can never buy thick skin like what we have. We are indestructible because we have earned it and we own wings now! 🙂  We were put here to teach the ignorant and share beautiful stories of hope and courage. If anything, don’t read this as a message of “being accepted” but more of a message that you were brought here to be THE voice of love.

~Lisa D’Amato

___________________________________

Now really, you see how silly these stupid bullies are? Calling Lisa ugly? Come on now! I wonder, where are these bullies now? WTG Lisa!

Anti-Bullying Week: Yakster’s Share Their Stories

As promised, throughout the week, we are featuring stories from our very own members in our YakkityYaks forum. These stories are volunteered from people who call our website their internet home and it is just another example of our personal feel and family attitude we pride ourselves in.

Just a reminder, the stories are unedited and real truths. We have only changed the names of those involved to protect their identities.

Here are two different accounts from Yaksters, both who wished to remain anonymous.

___________________________________

Okay, so here’s my story.

As a child I was and continue to be a bit hyper. I had some things happen to me that shouldn’t happen to any child and it affects me to this day. Made me very insecure with myself, who I was, what value I had as a person and whether or not I could ever trust someone enough to be intimate and not necessarily in a sexual way but moreso in a way that you fully expose yourself to a person (again, not that way) and trust that they wont’ belittle or make fun of you. I wanted to fit in with the kids at school but I never knew the right thing to do or say around them, couldn’t be myself really because I always thought that since things had been done to me I may not have been worthwhile enough to really like. I did have friends, but I was never popular or cool.

When I was in the fifth grade I went through a phase where I’d wear different color socks, swimsuit coverups as part of an outfit, and other oddities…thought that would make me cool but nothing ever seemed to work with the popular kids. They’d tell me I was weird, ugly, smelled….and the times they’d include me in things were the times they could use me for something I had. Such as, as stupid as this sounds, my collections of things like the California Raisins figures, Garbage Pail Kids cards, etc. They’d pretend to like me and because I wanted to be cool I’d give them some and then they’d make fun of me again afterwards.

It got worse in junior high. Puberty and body odor set in, B.O. was my nickname from 8th grade on. I had clinical acne in the 8th grade, and man they had a field day with that one. I’d get crushes on boys, and they’d ask me to “go with them” only to find out it was a joke. In the 8th grade I was out of school for a week due to an eye virus that nearly went through this paper thin bone that lies between your eye socket and brain, and when I went back my friends, fellow nerds, were concerned but many told me to my face I wasn’t missed.

I had I think a sum total of two or three dates in high school too and the thing is, I was a late bloomer. When I was about 16 I got a figure, in fact I remember one time I had to walk up to the teacher’s desk in high school and two of the popular guys said “She might be a freak but she’s got a great ass”…..but I still was so awkward, could never connect with a guy b/c I would always get a scared feeling in my stomach.

So while I was never told to kill myself or any of the nonsense you see today, I never quite fit in. The resonating effect of that hits to this day too. If you’re told over and over you’re not perfect, that you’re a dork, geek, spaz, ugly, you smell, acne face you start to believe it. I’m thankful I have a family who tells me just how wrong those people were, even without saying it, but showing it. But I’m still self conscious, still really want to fit in with people, and I still can’t trust some in certain areas b/c of something that happened, that should never happen and will I ever get past that? I don’t know.

But I will say this, for anyone that’s been bullied, or is right now. It gets better b/c all those people who made my life hell, who made me want to die and I did try twice and thankfully failed, have since grown and matured. All the “dorks” and popular kids now hang out whenever they can get together…..

~Anonymous Yakster

___________________________________

I was in seventh grade, and an eighth grader was always pushing me into lockers, walls, anywhere else I happened to be at the time. He also called me every name in the book. Finally, I got fed up with it all. He came up to me one day and tried to physically push me around again. I got up into his face and told him if he wanted to push me around anymore, he would have a fight on his hands because I wasn’t gonna take it anymore. From that day on, this guy left me alone.

~Anonymous Yakster

___________________________________

If you too would like to share your story with us, we would love to hear from you. You can contact us through the contact form at the top of this page, or send your story to JDMontgomery@yakkityyaks.com. The more stories there are, the more we can show others they are not alone in this fight.

Yak Exclusive: Big Brother’s Lydia Tavera Speaks Up Against Bullying

In accordance with our initiative this week, Big Brother 11’s Lydia Tavera took some time to send her thoughts, exclusively to the Yak, regarding bullying and the Anti-Bullying movement. Fans may remember Lydia with her unofficial partner of the game, Dae Yum Yum. Some may also remember her as part of the crew who grew extremely emotional when polarizing Jessie left the game that summer. Regardless of your impressions, stepping up for the cause is what this is all about. Here is Lydia’s story.

We would like to personally thank Lydia for stepping up and saying a few words about this important movement. In an effort to join forces and increase awareness, we encourage you to share these stories with your friends and family and encourage continuous efforts to make a difference! We all are capable and we just hope that this motivates and encourages each and every one of us to take a stand and put a stop to bullying once and for all. YakkityYaks, don’t talk smack!


____________________________

Okay, So… I’m Lydia Tavera from CBS, Big Brother 11. I am best known as the, “tattooed girl.” When someone sees my exterior appearance it’s obvious that I have a lot of tattoos. It’s safe to say I stick out in a crowd. My time spent on television was a whirl wind adventure to say the least. One of the darker sides of being on a national television show is harsh judgement by the world. The public feel they have to right to judge anyone they see on TV. I hate to burst the bubble but, “reality shows,” aren’t 100% real! Judging someone based on what is shown to you isn’t right. We have all done it, I know but what can be learned from people like myself is this, words have an impact. Words are heavy and things you say in person or on social media sites can impact a life. These words can hurt someones family and job. I have had my fair share of nasty comments said about me online. I have been called a wh*re, slut, tattooed trash, and been told that I shoulda killed myself. All those hurtful words have made me stronger. Every stone thrown at me is someone else projecting what they don’t like about themselves onto me. My tattoos are my armor, they make me different. Some people don’t understand others who are different and want to make things harder for them. Saying mean hurtful comments about someone for how they look, feel, act, or who they want to be is never right. I have learned to take the hurtful nasty comments and turned them into armor. Protecting myself, loving who I am and knowing that nobody is going to make me feel bad about who I am is the real power. With age I have learned this along with the fact that people who enjoy teasing others and sitting behind a computer trying to destroy someone’s character are the real cowards.

Never listen to somebody’s opinion of who you are and what your truth is. Don’t give someone else the power to make you feel bad. Hold your head up high and know in your heart that we are all different and that’s a wonderful thing. It’s so much easier to hate than to love, to judge and not accept. A phrase I often think about is “What’s popular isn’t always right and what’s right isn’t always popular.”

– Lydia Tavera, Big Brother 11

Anti-Bullying Week: “I felt as though nobody else cared either…”

All this week, YakkityYaks will be joining with past and present Reality TV stars and fans just like you in honor of Anti-Bullying Week. We will be featuring stories from Reality TV personalities, members in our YakkityYaks forum, and fans from Twitter and Facebook. In an effort to join forces and increase awareness, we encourage you to share these stories with your friends and family and encourage continuous efforts to make a difference! We all are capable and we just hope that this motivates and encourages each and every one of us to take a stand and put a stop to bullying once and for all. YakkityYaks, don’t talk smack!

Check out Big Brother 13’s Adam Speaking Out Against Bullying

Read on below for two personal accounts from fans on Twitter & Facebook who felt so moved to submit their own personal and touching stories, in addition to all of our other coverage today. Names have been changed to protect identities, but the stories are straight from the heart and unedited.

If you are interested in participating in our anti-bullying initiative by sharing your story, please contact JDMontgomery@yakkityyaks.com or ShellyBB13@me.com (Big Brother’s Shelly). Each and every story can bring about great change.

We also want to announce an exciting addition to our special features this week. Everyone who submits a story will be eligible to win a phone call from a reality TV personality!

______________________________

I will try to make a long story short as not to bore you with the uncomfortable details.

It really started in middle school. Sixth grade. Rude comments, dirty looks, snide remarks. I thought it was bad until I started high school. Then I prayed to go back to middle school. Middle school was hell and high school was worse. I remember on incident that is forever burned into my memory. I was walking down the hallway to class past “the popular group” and I swear all I could do was close my eyes and pray that day would be different. Nope. As I walked passed one guy stepped in front of me, so I stepped to the side and he did too. He knocked my books out of my hands and shoved me into a locker. Now, keep in mind this was my sophomore year and I’d been dealing with their crap for four and a half years already. I was pretty thick skinned by then. I picked up by books and went on my way without a tear or a word. They laughed, of course. I didn’t have friends, I had a few people I talked to in school, but nobody outside of school.

I didn’t care back then because everyone I had come in contact with was disrespectful to me, so I assumed everyone was like that. I didn’t care to have anyone to hang out with in fear they would only treat me the same way everyone else did.

I spent my time sitting a home, slowly distancing myself from my family and becoming a person I never imagined I would be. I slowly slipped into a depression that consumed every aspect of my life. My grades slipped, my teachers noticed something was different, but I, of course, said everything was fine when I was asked. My relationship with my parents was slipping away and I had minimal contact with them and my brothers. I got to the point where I didn’t care about anything. At that point in my life I knew exactly how a person feels just seconds before finally taking their life. I didn’t care if I lived or died, and I felt as though nobody else cared either. I remember sitting and making a list of who would care… I never finished it because I never wrote one name down. I felt that I pushed everyone away enough that they wouldn’t care if I was there or not.

It continue he’d even after I graduated. Adults aren’t always nice either. And then. It hit me one day. I was done. I was done letting everyone else run my life. I was done accepting those looks and comments from people who didn’t even know me. I was done accepting that I was less than worth it. I was done living my life in fear, fear of others and myself.

That’s the day I became a b*tch. That’s the day I stood up for myself. That’s the day I took my life back.

I’m now twenty five. Don’t get me wrong, there are still nights I cry myself to sleep because someone said something that hurt my feelings and it took me right back to high school, but I wake up in the morning knowing that I am worth it and I won’t be taking crap from anyone. I refuse to let others run my life with hatred.

People often joke about my “obsession” with my music. Music saved my life. And I don’t say that lightly. I say that honestly and I mean that with everything I have in me. Music became my escape from reality. I started listening, really listening to the songs and realizing, “Hey, the ‘person’ in the song got through that issue, so can I!” And still to this day, it’s my escape.

I know I said I was going to keep this short, but I failed. I hope it’s the kind of thing you were looking for and that my story helps someone else realize they they too can get through it.

I just want to be able to give someone else hope… hope for the future. I want someone to know that things can get better, but they have got to regain control of their life. I want at least one person to know that there really is someone that understands, that’s been there and that there are ways away from it.

One thing I encourage people to do now is tell someone. I pray that each child in that situation tells someone, anyone they trust (although when going through that, trust is a HUGE issue.) I encourage kids to find a teacher, parent, counselor, anyone they can tell. I didn’t tell anyone. Not one single person until a few months ago. Even after so many years, it was the hardest thing to do.

Love and hugs to you.

– J.S.

____________________________

Hi, my name is Alexis and I’ve been bullied. In elementary school, it was just minor things like having glasses and not having the “coolest” clothing and the way I walk. In fourth grade, two girls named Amanda and Nikki were the real tormentors. They got their friends on it and tried to get me in trouble by pushing me towards the teachers cars (never did get in trouble). Amanda would say stupid things like “I looked in her house and she was eating. (Guess I was a bit heavier than the other girls) In the African American community, hair is a very big thing. “Good hair” is long and silky. Mine wasn’t. Mine was short and short hair is considered “bald” to a lot of people, so I was often called bald.

Sixth grade came and I entered complete hell. Everyday was torture, from being called ugly and bald (for having short hair) to being called nerd. They would also often say I talked white because I talked proper. I’ve had books and food thrown at me. I’ve been scratched and kicked at. Had my shoes taken and thrown. It was awful. I let my grades suffer. Luckily, I wasn’t held back, but I did need a special transfer at the end of year for protection. (A lot of students ended up leaving because that particular school was horrible)

Seventh and eight grade was a bit better, but I was still being called ugly and bald. High school was okay, except for the boys who tried to make me feel like dirt by calling me ugly. I’m sad to say I often fought back instead of telling administrators, but I did not want my mom to worry to about me, as I’m her only child. She was so hurt about my time in sixth grade that I just didn’t want her (and administrators) to get involved.

I have often felt like if I were skinny with long hair, things at school would have been different. Things are okay now. The scars are still there, but I’m going to teach my kids that bullying is WRONG and to treat others they way they want to be treated.

– Alexis