American Idol Recap: A Night With Sir Elton John

Happy post-Hump Day, Idol Worshippers. Your trusty (in an Adjustment Bureau sorta way) Idol recapper is back. Sorry I subjected you to the likes of a Roseanne referrer last week. Well, unless that’s sorta your thing. To each their own. No, really, I wanna thank him for subbing for me, but you can all breathe more easily as I’m back … for now. I know, you’re all breathing a sigh of relief and are thanking your lucky stars above (if you have any). Well, tonight we have the songbook of Sir Elton John to tackle. Going into the show, I was a bit skeptical, granted the theme was announced a couple days after the 80′s theme rumor was floating around. Don’t it make you wonder how long the lot had to rehearse for tonight? (All you grammar peeps out there, that was on purpose.) Now that we’ve seen the show, I can say that I’m pleasantly surprised, as there wasn’t a real train wreck among us tonight. That said, I kinda feel like there wasn’t a real home run tonight either, but we’ll discuss that ahead. I do want to say that this post is brought to you by Coca-Cola. Maybe if I say it enough times, money will fall from the sky and I’ll get a bonus. Oh wait, I think you need to make some money before you get a bonus, right? Ya, I’m probably ineligible.

Now, according to the little over-produced bit at the beginning of tonight’s broadcast, hope, apparently, has been renewed. What do you think my friends? Has it? Also of odd note that I noticed from the start of the show was that Steven Tyler had a pencil in his hand. What for, you may ask (because I was asking the same thing)? Either he a) needs it to write down “I really loved that performance” so he remembers his line or b) he meant to get a toothpick. Either way, I’m pretty sure he achieved whatever goal he had in mind. Speaking of the judges, why am I now wondering why Randy is the only original judge we have left. Is he really bringing anything to the show this season? Besides his constant name-dropping and dawg barkings, I’m not really sure what his purpose is. He only contradicts himself every other critique. Never did I think that JLo would be the judge I agree with most and the one I look forward to hearing after each performance. Now, if only she could get “Invading My Mind” on the radio I’ll be happy. I’d take that song over “Blow” by Ke$ha any day because that it does do … BLOW. But, I digress. In the midst of tonight’s show, I couldn’t come up with a catchy and fun way to group tonight’s performances, so we’re going old school and looking at them one at a time, piece by piece, note by note, bit by bit … Ok, maybe not that intimately, but you know what I mean. I’ll be adding my own prediction for their status tonight during the results show. Also, if you’re curious as to what each contestant sang, be sure to check out our page HERE for a full list!

Scotty McCreery: Hitting the stage with his girl Scarlet, trying to impress Grandma, picking Elton’s only song with the word “Country” in the title, what more could Scotty do to plan the perfect stage performance? Oh ya, ask camera man to pan to his grandma bobbing her head and clapping her hands to her grandson’s deep tone, making America wonder if he can even go falsetto. Now whether America wonders that or not, it doesn’t look like he’ll be needing to try that branch-out-of-the-box move as he continues to put the country twang and infuse every bit of music he tackles on that stage, even if it’s from the Brit sensation himself. My only gripe here is with the judges…Why pick on Thia and Pia for sticking to ballads when Scotty sticks to same country sound. How about a little bit of consistency here? Maybe it’s the spelling of his name? Scotty’s status: SAFE

Naima Adedapo: Cue psychedelic lights, make Bob Marley reference, add the cultural garb and all I’m missing is my drink with an umbrella in it. Naima’s performance was extremely unique (which isn’t always good) and not necessarily a train wreck. For once, I’ll agree with Randy in that it was corny as she tried to take the (stupid) advice from Mr. Iovine to give a shout out to places like Japan who could use a few words of encouragement. Keep that for Idol Gives Back. I’m sure Japan isn’t going to be running to their telephones or internet lines to vote for Naima tonight. They have more important things to worry about. Connecting with that crowd wasn’t important for her, so why tell her to do so. You know she’s gonna listen … she kinda has to. Now, Naima’s vocals are about as strong as Ryan Seacrest was against Hulk Hogan last week, but she’s one of the few contestants this season who’s actually making the most of the Idol stage. She’s taking risks, she’s keeping true to who she is. Unfortunately, I don’t see America loving and resonating with that for much longer. And for that, Naima’s Status: Bottom 3, eliminated

Paul McDonald: First of all, who is choosing this man’s wardrobe? Not only did that flowery jacket look like he grabbed it straight out of a 1960′s romantic flick with the protagonist pretending to be Elvis, but, well, do you need any more? Now Paul tackled a classic Elton John hit and toned it down just a bit, all the while breaking out his guitar on stage. Now, the last time he covered it, apparently it was a disaster. I’m not sure the correlation and thought process behind covering a disaster again, but I guess you’re more mature when you hit the Idol stage? This performance was enough to make Steven Tyler go into labor on air, but will that translate into votes from America? Paul looks real comfortable on stage, but like Naima, I’m not sure most of America is comfortable with him just yet…Paul’s Status: Bottom 3

Pia Toscano: One thing you don’t want to do to America is break your promise. The other thing you don’t want to do to America is break your promise and under perform. Well, Pia only did one of those two. After promising us last week that she’d up the tempo this time around (assuming it was going to be 80′s music theme), Pia up and broke her promise, switching her song choice this week to a well-known Elton John Ballad. After being called out by Jimmy Iovine AND Steven Tyler, Randy tried to back pedal and cover his tracks after he told her not to ballad it out on stage anymore because it was becoming too predictable. Well, predictable or not, Pia is the strongest female in the competition and is in HUGE contention for the title, and as far as I’m concerned, she can ballad as much as she likes. With flawless, on pitch vocals like that, I’m not sure how the judges can lay claim as “best of the night” to someone else (cough*Haley*cough). Predictable? Maybe, but honestly, who cares when you sing like that? Pia’s Status: SAFE

Stefano Langone: Dude’s got eyes! That was pretty much all America was looking for in this performance anyways. He could have sang the lyrics to the ABC’s to the tune of Tiny Dancer and I’m almost certain no one would have noticed. JLo was too busy swooning, Randy was too busy looking into his eyes and wondering what’s for dinner, and Tyler was probably picking food out of his teeth with that pencil after he realized he wasn’t going to use it for anything else. Stefano moved across the stage, adding to his performance, all the while staying nearly pitch perfect! Tiny Dancer is a tough one to tackle and this guy didn’t want to revisit the bottom 3. Well, you know what? Stefano’s Status: SAFE

Since we were interrupted with what had to have the worst promotion ever Fox has ever tried to put forth during Idol, I won’t make you suffer. But what in the world was up with Howie Mandel’s shameless, poorly timed, poorly done, and ridiculous promotion for his “Mobbed” special. And you know what? I’m even giving it a promotion. Crap.

Lauren Alaina: Dear Randy Jackson, Jennifer Lopez, and Steven Tyler: Thank you for sticking to our deal tonight and giving Lauren Alaina a better critique than she probably deserved. We all know she has a great voice, but I want you to remind America what we saw in her from her audition way back at the beginning of the season. Don’t mention Kelly Clarkson again, as I’m receiving a lot of flack online for that comparison. I just want you to make sure you throw words out there like “nice” and “sensitive” and “believable.” Randy, don’t say pitchy. Steven, don’t hit on her. She’s only 16. Overall, just remember … This is Lauren. Make America love her and vote. You will find bonus checks in your dressing rooms, underneath the toilet seat so no one finds them. Thanks. ~ Nigel Lythgoe, Lauren’s Status: SAFE

James Durbin: Even though his name is not Haley (that would be weird and confusing), I’m naming this one the best performance of the night. James just looks so comfortable on stage and in the audience, as he commands your attention. Swinging through the crowd and actually enjoying himself (go figure), he didn’t leave one note unsung and one hand un high-fived. It really is nice to have someone who drew so much comparison to Adam Lamber early on to drift away from that and become his own man. He has humility and the ability to stay grounded and true to himself to thank. Yes, I know I just said the same thing twice. I wanted to bring in Paula for her opinion this time. I was, however, waiting for Lady Gaga to pop out of that burning piano. James’s Status: SAFE

Thia Megia: Unfortunately for this poor girl, I’m going to straight up say that I think she’s one of the two we’re losing tonight. Thia emotionally connected to this song, which is not something you can say of many others tonight, but that emotional connection may not be enough to keep her around another week. Thia’s had too many forgettable performances and is a perfect example as to why Idol should not have lowered the minimum age for contestants. With a little bit of time and a huge bout of confidence, Thia can return to take the stage by storm and show everyone why she was there in the first place. Until then, I think she needs to go back to school, play in the backyard with her friends, and cheer on her Idol buddies to the finale. Randy all but said she probably won’t get the votes tonight, and I’m hate to say it, but I agree with him. Thia’s Status: Bottom 3, eliminated

Casey Abrams: Oh Casey. Last week, you thought you could grunt your way to the top. If that didn’t work, you’d at least have your blinding facial expressions to scare America into voting for you. Well, that didn’t work and the judges saved you. Cut to this week. If you sang like this last week, they wouldn’t have needed to waste the save on you and we’d still have it!! I’m glad someone read my mind and gave a performance backed just by the piano and not the crazy tracks Iovine and company push on you guys. If we could do with the ending that made me believe you needed a laxative, that performance could go down in the books as one of the best tonight. Now, I coulda done without the Bieber spotlight on the haircut and beard trimming. Casey’s status: SAFE

Jacob Lusk: So, Randy wants Jacob to find his Jacob spot, or J-spot if you will. Not really sure what a J spot is or where one can locate it, but Jacob, looks like Randy sent you on a mission. I figured Lusk would act out either this song or Can You Feel The Love Tonight because they just go best with the Lusk One Man Drama show. There’s nothing wrong with showing emotion when you sing, but when America gets to give you a dental exam 4 times in one night each and every week, it’s time to tone it down. The judges didn’t think so, but I’m not so sure Jacob took Jimmy Iovine’s advice and toned down his gestures and dramatization. He still divafied the performance more than J.Hud would and that’s one helluva diva! Jacob’s the kinda guy I have to listen to and not watch … and I’m not sure that’s great in this competition. Lucky for him, there are a few others that need to go first. Jacob’s Status: SAFE

Haley Reinhart: I’m really not even sure where to begin. Did I watch a different performance than the judges? Best of the night? Really? She sings sexy? I didn’t know that could be sung. Where did this all come from, which performance were they watching? From the second I saw her sitting on the piano to the moment she slithered her way through the last “Jetsssssssssthhhssssssssss,” my teeth were cringing like I just left Jacob’s dental exam. American Idol isn’t where one goes to practice performing in adult entertainment joints. American Idol isn’t where one goes to practice slithering s’s like the great Sir Elton John, all the while trying to convince America you’re not really having a seizure. American Idol isn’t the place where one goes to under perform and get praised by the judges. Wait, what am I talking about. Yes it is, and this is a GREAT example. I would have been more tolerant if the judges claimed Lauren’s performance was the best of the night. At least she was vocally sound and has an idea of who she is on stage. My prediction here is based solely on the judge’s comments because America tends to swing that way lately (well, except for last week). Haley’s Status: SAFE

Well, folks, that’s a wrap. What’d you think about tonight’s performances? Did you have a favorite? Who was your least favorite? Did you drink a coca cola during the show? Who’s leaving tonight? Let us know what you think and more below and in our FORUMS! Don’t miss as we discuss tonight’s results show LIVE!