Happy Wednesday Idol worshippers! Did you miss me after the blunder in Nashville last week? I’m most definitely certain you did. Actually, I’m not certain at all. Almost as uncertain as I am about the success of Kara DioGuardi’s song writing ability for Idol winners. This Is My Now. I mean, really? Speaking of Kara, how come American Idol didn’t apologize to us with the ominous black card for subjecting us to her nonsense for 2 seasons, but they somehow found a reason to apologize for something Steven Tyler did that they won’t even acknowledge? What were they even apologizing for anyways? Well, as we reported earlier, Ryan announced it this morning on his radio show, telling us to look out for the black card at the start of the show. Tip #1 that this is most definitely a rating’s ploy. Next week, they’ll want to apologize us for something J Lo did and that’ll end up being something like her kissing her husband on national TV or something. So as America wondered why the apology, they showed a clip of Tyler asking a contestant, with the last name of Muck, what that rhymes with. If Mother Goose did her job, the contestant would know the answer was “duck.” Ding Ding Ding! Now, rewind to last week. In Milwaukee, Steven Tyler made a comment, “Hell fire save matches, f*ck a duck and see what happens.” Is that what the apology was for?
Now, this isn’t the first time Idol has needed to blur someone’s mouth with the Idol logo for an obscenity, yet we’ve never seen an apology. And, as one of our members pointed out (thanks Kristin!), if it was so offensive, why choose to edit that into the program? It’s not like it was a live show where what Tyler said was beyond production’s control. Another Yak reader thought it could have been because he hinted to a female contestant that she could be one of his … and he left it open to interpretation. Anyways, Idol got what they wanted. Buzz, me to talk about it (yes, I’m sure they wanted me specifically to talk about it) and I’m sure it brought up the ratings just a bit more.
But first (another shout out to our Big Brother fans), let’s get down and dirty (not that way Steven), and take a look at all the goodness Idol provided us tonight! They most definitely made up for Nashville’s debacle with Austin, Texas. Apparently, things are bigger down there. Oops, the Yak will apologize on my behalf tomorrow.
Let’s take a dive into the back stories we got today, and we got quite a few. First up was Corey Levoy, the man who reconnected with his sister when they were both teenagers. After being separated at birth due to parental struggles, the two reconnected later in life and are since best friends. Oh, and Corey apparently has a J. Lo booty. They’re gonna need to apologize for that too. I didn’t need to see him strut like that. This audition marked the first of a couple where families were invited into the audition room, yet again, because the judge’s pretended to not know anything about the back story. So in comes the sister. And what do you know, she sits down by Steven to judge. How unrehearsed? Seriously though, this guy can sing, giving his sister “chillbumps” and all.
Enter John Wayne Schulz. Ya, it’s a different John Wayne, we won’t belabor the irony. Idol did enough of that for us. Everyone’s new favorite cowboy showcased his talents to America tonight with a stirring rendition of a Brooks & Dunn classic. As if his talent couldn’t stand alone, Ryan and Co. were gracious enough to give us the story of his mother who fought breast cancer and urged him to audition for her. Touching? Yes. Necessary? Definitely not. His voice can easily get him far without any of this nonsense in the background over his head. Now we should move on to Courtney Penry, you know, Ryan’s long lost lover woman who clucked her way into Hollywood. She’s ready to marry Ryan. What more can be said?
Our final back story expose of the night was the overly loving couple of Nick and Jacqueline. Could Idol have served any more cheese tonight with that montage? I mean, skipping through fields, kissing near the water, giggling while handing her a flower, looking in each other’s eyes with deep, deep love. The only thing missing was Kara fantasizing about Casey James and his guitar. And I for one am glad we didn’t get that. Now I don’t know if this is worse or not, but the two can sure as hell sing, skipping their way into Hollywood as Idol promises to continue the love saga. Oh joy.
The final few contestants will be brought to you by Venus and Jennifer Lopez. Anyone catch that commercial tonight? J. Lo was looking fine if you ask me. We’re gonna revisit these with our AIM lingo just like last week. So let’s do it!
Hollie Cavanagh – Y did the judges mke her sing 2 songs? They’ve let worse thru in 20 sec and she had 2 wait a whole commercial break? Not only tht but did 2nd song have to be miley? ugh.
Shauntel Campos, Alex Carr, Caleb Johnson – This wks 30 sec reel of secret gold mines Idol dsn’t wnt u 2 remember. Tyler-ism on clinical trials: He has smethng n common. Tht was the 70′s 4 him. Will they have 2 apologize 4 this 2?
Janelle Arthur – 2 words: country sweetheart w/ powerful voice. oops, more than 2. such confidence and sense of knowing who she is. Ne1 other than me get a sense of Carrie Underwood in her while she was singing?
Casey Abrams – save best 4 last? singing Ray Charles, the skat master gave us a big voice, soothing high notes n raspy rock sound. Ne1 wanna learn how to play that little instrument? Definitely a contender this season – I can feel it.
Be sure to join us tomorrow for Los Angeles! As always, our FORUMS will be open to all guests for commenting during Idol episodes, so stop on in. You don’t even have to register to let us know how you feel! As always, let us know what you think of the episode below and let me know if you want to see anything change or stay the same in our recaps! The Yak…Out!