American Idol Recap: Royal Treat or Royal Flubs?

Hello Idolites! First of all, I’m sorry to have been MIA last Thursday when Katy Perry hit the stage, performed some of her alien sex, and we said goodbye to our “Little Wildcard That Could” aka Stefano Langone. I know that you all were devastated by my absence and I hope you have all had time to properly recover and prepare yourselves for our little get together today. Raise your hand if you missed me? Ok, Ok … not all at once! Tonight we’re gonna tackle Carole King night, which could be a royal treat or a royal flub depending on your outlook on life. But first, how much filler can one show have … 90 minutes for 6 contestants? Really? That’s OK! We’ll throw in a few duets in there, America will be happy.

Before we get on to the actual show, let’s just touch on the obviously elephant in the room. How many of you, like myself, are already making stark comparisons between this ratings behemoth and NBC’s The Voice? Don’t be shy, everybody’s doing it! And because everyone’s doing it, I won’t touch on it much here … but what I will say is this. At a time when many (not all) are starting to feel a little let-down/bored with our favorite (?) singing competition, The Voice couldn’t have come at a better time.

The Voice Premiere: Did you Love It?

Now, we’ll just move on to tonight. I promise I’ll try to stay as positive and less cynical than before. Keyword: TRY. First of all, did someone tell Jacob Lusk that tonight was Halloween? If so, Steven Urkel was the costume (or so a member decided in our forums). Kinda easy to guess, Lusk. Now, I don’t think Jacob has what it takes to win this competition, but I do kinda feel for him and I’ll tell you why. Based on tonight’s production, it’s pretty obvious that tonight’s show was set up as a farewell to Jacob and there are a number of reasons why. Follow along and you’ll find my hidden gems pointing out why tomorrow night might be Jacob’s last on the Idol stage before he’s invited back finale night to help fill 2 hours of programming.

Jacob Lusk, “Oh No, Not My Baby” | Reason #1 why Jacob will leave tomorrow: He was blessed (or cursed, really) with the honor of kicking off the show. It’s pretty much standard Idol protocol to stack the deck, if you will. Rule No. 327.5, Article VI states that “he who starts off the show has a greater chance at being eliminated the following night.” Jacob does have something about his performance going for him. Unfortunately, it’s not the singing, but rather his costume. I mean who can forget the blue vest with the yellow shirt and the purple bowtie, complementing the plaid coat and the Caterpillar shoes? On the down side, his last note was sour and didn’t really stand out from the rest of the piece. Also, I’m pretty sure giving a little roar in your backstage interview post-performance isn’t a surefire way to pick up some votes. Randy cryptically throws in a “Hope America votes” which usually means “You pretty much have no chance. Nice knowin’ ya.” Speaking of Randy, why was he dressed like Harry Potter?

Lauren Alaina, “Where You Lead” | Reason #2: Lauren Alaina, Season 10′s Poster Child, gets a surprise visit from a big “superstar.” If you consider teenage daughter gone wrong a superstar, then yes, I meant Miley Cyrus. Why would Miley’s appearance be a bad thing for Mr. Lusk? Simple math my friends, Miley will help Lauren pick up more votes, hence, fewer for Jacob. Miley also reminded me why I like The Voice better. They can sing. Oops, I said I wouldn’t mention that show! Reason #3: Continue Idol gimmicks Papa Nigel by planting a member of the studio audience for Lauren to casually pick and bring up on stage. Also make sure said member is young, charismatic and daringly handsome. Why? Encourage younger female voters to swing yet more votes Ms. Alaina’s way. Got it? Ok, good.

Casey Abrams and Haley Reinhart: “I Feel the Earth Move” | Well, the earth did move, but I’m pretty sure it was trying to get out of Casey’s way. Whatever he was eyeing and growling at … the earth did not want to interfere. The man was on a mission. Steven Tyler called them out on their little rumored backstage love affair to which we received no response. Come on, Idol. We’re looking for drama! Considering as I’m no fan of these contestants separately, I’m not going to be together, but this wasn’t the most horrid I’ve heard these two growl sing. So, kudos.

Scotty McCreery, “You’ve Got a Friend” | Reason #4: Scotty made love with the camera with his eyes. Jacob, on the other hand, gave America yet another opportunity to check out his molars. Making love usually wins. It is, however, about time that Scotty took the initiative to work something new with his performances. Stripping the song a bit and taking a song that hasn’t been contrified is definitely a step in the right direction. Keeping Randy on the show as a “judge,” on the other hand, isn’t. He’s “in it to win it?” Really, Randy? You’ve run out of vocabulary storage that you’re already reusing words that you reuse regularly? Speaking of our judges, why is it that I find them fighting so hard to pretend they’re interested and excited about what’s on stage? I think that’s why we’re getting repeated phrases from Randy, jumbled who knows what from Tyler and inconsistent and sometimes sporadic “critiques” from Lopez. They need to phone a friend, namely Adam Levine or Cee Lo Green or Blake Shelton or even Ms. Aguilera. Randy’s bound to have their numbers. He has everyone on speed dial, no?

James Durbin, “Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow” | Reason # Whatever We’re On Now: We have a winner predicted! Randy, likely thanks to his super “R” vest and in all his knowledge, has predicted our Season 10 champ and it’s this guy right here! Coming out on stage a capella, looking for that “moment” to capture America, James took on this King tune flawlessly. Randy went so far as to call it the “Performance of the Last Few Months.” Newsflash Randy: If you really have been watching the same show we have, there aren’t really many to throw him up against. James’ vocal was not flawless the rest of the performance, but he was able to bring the lights down and give us a more subdued performance. Dude can blow without marching band drummers behind him.

Lauren Alaina and Scoty McCreery: “Up on the Roof” | Rule No. 372.1 Article XX states: “In order to brainwash America into choosing the ‘Chosen Final 2′ from the production standpoint, be sure and include a number of duets interspersed throughout the season.” ‘Nuff said.

Casey Abrams, “Hi-De-Ho” | Oy vey. Where do I start with this one, here? Casey could be the only reason Jacob defies Idol’s will and actually stays this week. From the moment Casey stepped into his little musical wonderland and started waltzing down around the yellow brick road, I grew concerned. Then he decided to throw his hat. Then he started grunting. Heavily. Then he maintained dangerous eye contact with the camera and members of the studio audience. Casey, Casey, Casey, so much promise from your initial audition. What has time done to you? What more, the judges were able to provide us with some groundbreaking critiques. “Less Growl, Casey.” No $#*! judges!! Ya think?

Haley Reinhart, “Beautiful” | Before I continue with this recap, please note the following does not mean I have jumped onto the Haley train. Aside from the random technical difficult before her performance, Haley actually took the stage in stride and showed GREAT restraint tonight with her vocals. Correct me if I’m wrong (and I did double check myself) but I could count ONE (Uno, Eins, 1, a single) growl tonight. Granted she probably ran out on the earlier duet with Casey, but Haley took this song with confidence and worked to showcase her vocals more than her grunting tonight. While I am not one to claim her as a top finalist or a seasoned vocalist, she doesn’t get an ounce of criticism from me tonight. However, look for her to end up in the Bottom 3 anyways only because I don’t see James, Lauren, or McCreery getting a spot on the silver stools of doom this week. Rest assured, I’m pretty sure we’re losing another XY contestant tonight because Haley, based on this week alone, earned a spot to move on next week. See? I can be fair sometimes. And you doubted me!

Jacob Lusk and James Durbin: “I’m Into Something Good” | Can I make a confession? I switched over to The Voice and missed this performance. Was it enough to add Reason #6 as to why Jacob might be out the door tonight?

So gang, what did you think about last night’s performance? How did they fare with the Carole King songbook? Who was your favorite? Who are you ready to see walk off that stage? Looking forward to Bruno Mars and Crystal Bowersox tomorrow night? What’s your Bottom 3 prediction? While we’re at it … thoughts on the Idol vs. Voice comparisons? Let us know all that and more below and in our FORUMS!