Well, hello there! And welcome to my first recap of America’s Next Top Model. My name’s Luke. Expect a detailed yet opinionated review coming your way each week!
To start of the show, we get Tyra’s once again adamant remark that Rob Evans is the “sexiest model in the world”. Really, Tyra? Stating your opinion as a fact? Maybe I should get into this more later on in the recap.
Anyway, we start off the actual show with the whole “congratulating Leila for getting best photo” clip. Congrats to her – she rocked out, and she reaped the rewards! One of Leila’s rewards is getting to stay in the Tyra suite, with a friend, of course. So she invites Laura, which all seems fine until Laura activates bitch mode with “I dont know what her game is, but I ain’t giving anyone advice”. Really? You can’t just be thankful that you get to stay in an awesome suite. There’s obviously some conspiracy behind the whole thing! Get on it, Detective Laura!
So, next we get a bit of back-story for Darian, which instantly tells us that she is either going to do amazingly this week, or she’s getting eliminated! Way to be predictable, Tyra!
Makeovers
So the girls get the average Tyra Mail, and it is time for MAKEOVERS!!! But instantly, before makeovers are even happening, we have “negative Nancy” Maria already denying even the possibility of getting a hair cut! Which is hence followed by a Maria bitch fest. These college girls really like to jump on every little thing.
Anyway, at the makeovers, Kelly “cut throat” Katrone is there to announce the twist. You get to choose whether you get a haircut or not. But she warns that it is Tyra’s vision of beauty, so basically saying “No” screws you. Even with the warning, Miss Harvard (Maria) gives it a “Hell no!”, and Victoria surprisingly also says no. Katrone then tells the two girls who aren’t getting the makeover that she will talk to them later! (I really can’t help but love Kelly this season)
The girls all get their makeovers, and the only person not particularly liking it is Destiny, short hair. There is always one. The makeovers all seem to work well, my favourite being Leila’s
And my least favourite would be Brittany’s, as she looked better with dark hair in my opinion!
Tyra decides to come in during makeovers and have a little talk with Maria and Victoria, then we hear some sob story about Victoria’s hair being like her Grandmother’s? Uhuh. It does sound so farfetched, but Victoria seems sincere, and I do think that she just said it in the spur of the moment, and truly regrets it. Maria, however, sat there all bored and just said how amazing her hair already was. Tyra then gave them the makeovers they would have got, and Victoria starting crying… this is gonna be a thing: she is crying like 90% of the time.
Katrone then comes in to chat with Maria, which you can tell from the get go is going to be AWESOME. She basically just set it out straight, and Maria kept trying to defend herself, only to be instantly put down over and over and over again by Kelly. My favourite line of the show: “You’re really committed to defending mediocrity.” Ouch.
We then get some stupid filler about Laura being from a small town… I am pretty sure I have heard this story about every season on Top Model. Being from a small town does NOT differentiate you. Stop trying to make a story out of that.
PADRAIC ARRIVES!!!! (My favourite change of the season)
He brings a Tyra Mail, and instantly all the girls think nude shoot, which seems realistic. And we don’t seem to have any Christian mothers this season so we should be alright.
Oh, and then we get the fight, Darian V Kiara. It is time for the ghetto fight of the season. Basically, Darian is a loud b*tch, but Kiara told Alyssa to tell Darian that, and Darian went cray cray! So we get into the fight, which is basically about whom the biggest b*tch is. Come on now, girls! I know your lifelong aspiration is to be the biggest bitch, but that ain’t gonna happen – have you met Kelly Katrone? I have to say, Victoria took the words out of my mouth when she summed up the fight, and Kristin’s little smile while watching it made me happy!
Photoshoot
We were right, nude shoot. But they get to pose with Rob Evans!!! Anyone else think this was only a photoshoot so Tyra could get some new pics of the “sexiest model alive”? The photographer is Tony Duran, who I ADORE, so I was happy. We then get another Maria moment, where she calls Kelly a C-U-Next-Tuesday? Which, come on, is a bit uncalled for. But on with the nude shoot!
Ok, I have to get this out there: these girls really ain’t caring about being naked, are they? It’s like every single one of them was just wading around completely naked. If you are literally just sitting there eating, why are you naked? Put on a frikkin top… I guess it’s true what they say about college girls. The only girl with a bit of, what I call, self respect was Maria. Yes, I think that nude shoots are in the industry, but at least she wasn’t jumping around naked.
But even with that last positive comment about her, she quit, which was expected. She was way smart, and she was at Harvard, so she should use her mind, not her body. She was a negative Nancy, but she made the right choice for sure.
Destiny complains about her hair again. Victoria cries again. Kiara and Darian face-off again.
The shoots seem to go well for the most part. No horribily horrendous ones from these girls. But I’m gonna play a game with y’all. Kiss, Marry, Avoid.
Firstly, the kiss has to go to Brittany. Rob was right: she looks so sexy in this pic. And the judges loved it for sure! She definitely used her hair to her advantage. However, I wonder how it will look in a color picture.
Marry, would have to be Leila. I can’t help but seriously love this shot in every sense of the way. Her hair really worked!
Avoid, ok, so here I am going to jump into the comeback show, where the eliminated girls get the chance to come back by competing in all the shoots. Good idea for sure! But the first girl eliminated, Jessie, well… come on, just look at the picture. Literally all I can think is nose.
Ok, so photoshoots finish up, but before we move on, did anyone else see Rob covering his “ahem” area after the final shot with Victoria? I’ma just saying… Tyra may have some competition!
Judging went well for most girls. Victoria explained herself and the judges accepted her reasoning. Now bear with me while I rant about the new scoring system. But seriously? You are gonna take each week individually. No care for previous weeks and eliminate on a week to week basis? An amazing model can have one bad week and be sent home. As Kelly said before, I don’t want to finish this show with a mediocre winner. I want a model who took risks, and if they didn’t pay of once, they were spared because of previous shots. This judging system just seems completely whack to me.
So order of names called was as follows:
- Victoria
- Brittany
- Allyssa
- Leila
- Laura
- Nastasia
- Kristin
- Destiny
- Kiara
- Yvonne
So hence Darian was eliminated, but here is the surprise: the vote was so close it came down to 4.78 for Darian by the public and 4.81 for Yvonne. I guess we do have a big say in this competition! Now Tyra tells all the girls about the comeback series, and Darian is on her knees “Oh please, Tyra, oh please!!”. I chuckled. Darian gone. Ten girls remain. Who will be eliminated next?
Okay, for the final part of my blog, I am just gonna show you a simple table I made, with everyone’s points from each week. However, as I think it should be done more fairly, they are added together, this will show people’s success over the series as a whole, and will show the holes in this scoring system, when I can guarantee a great girl leaves because of one bad score.
As you can see, Leila is in the lead, with Destiny trailing in the back.
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