Deadliest Catch – Season 7 – “Exit Wounds”

Welcome back folks to THE BEST reality show on TV, Deadliest Catch. Last week, at the end, we saw a Wizard deckhand asleep at the wheel. This show starts with clips of various cast members talking about the wear and tear of the fatigue and how some guys have it and some don’t. Plus, doing this job in this weather separates the men from the boys. Talk of mutiny on the Cornelia, and John’s fears of someone getting hurt in this weather. Then that kick ass song, Wanted Dead or Alive. Seriously, I don’t think there’s any other reality show that has as an iconic opening as this one does. The question is, which of our vet boats gets the shaft tonight? We’ll obviously see the Seabrooke, again, and while I don’t mind them they’re the only boat not to be left out of an episode so far.

So, we open with the Wizard. Remember sleepy Lynn? After a 14 day grind the crew is racked out. There’s Lynn, fast asleep and keep in mind, he turned off the wheel watch alarm which is normally set to go off every 15 minutes to avoid this very scenario. Hey remember an older season when the boat owner’s son of a boat I can’t remember fell asleep? Who was that? The guy that whined to his daddy that they weren’t catching and the captain had to cut short. So Keith finds Lynn asleep and Lynn gets his ass reamed by Keith. Actually, this yelling was tame in Keith standards, he simply lectures him  for a minute and sends him off to bed. Keith sees a few boats on the radar, five to be exact, and talks about how if they’d rammed another boat that boat was done and the Wizard wouldn’t be too far behind. He says he likes Lynn and has put a lot of time into teaching him the trade, falls asleep and he doesn’t know how many more watches Lynn will have on the Wizard.

Yay! Time Bandit time! Thank you Discovery! They’re heading into some dicey weather, with waves and winds and all that fun. Johnathan says no matter the weather they have to get through the pots, it won’t be pretty and it will be a long night. We get a shot of Justin Tennison, the deckhand who tragically passed away from sleep apnea on February 21, 2011. RIP Justin, fair winds. Johnathan notes they have a biomass coming up he hopes. After failing for four weeks Johnathan has hit the motherload. He’s set back all his gear. They’ve seen numbers there and he hopes the luck holds, so the biomass is still there. As they throw for the first pot, it comes up with a good one. There’s crab in it. Mikey says this looks promising and Johnathan says it’s a pretty damn good pot. The plan now, don’t lose them. The first pot brings 30 and the only thing standing in their way, a head-on collision with a 250 square mile storm. The crew sorts the catch, and the pots keep coming up with a good haul. I love Johnathan’s “Yeah baby!”. As the crab count grows, so do the seas. Andy says there’s big waves brother. Mikey says the wind and waves are making it miserable tonight. Johnathan says this trip is good but the last thing he wants to do is hurt someone. He has a tough choice, keep hauling and risk his crew or wait out the weather and risk the crab bio mass moving on. More misery, more pain. His son Scott says he doesn’t mind how rough it gets if the crab hold up as good as their flag Old Faithful does. But Justin Tennison notes in this weather, it doesn’t matter where you’re at on deck, anything can happen. A BIG BIG wave comes in and both Andy and Johnathan stand to watch over their crew. They’re counting heads at this point, and as we go to commercial we hear Johnathan say “You okay there Mike?”.

We’re back at the Time Bandit, with that big ass wave coming over the deck. Justin holds the pot in place and Mike gets tossed around a bit, but the pot is kept on board. Mikey got washed across the deck, wow! Johnathan says he never saw him get tossed like that, and Mikey is 230 lbs. He says himself that he just got tossed by a rag doll. In the face of man killing seas, the skipper makes a tough call. Johnathan decides to bring them in, says their safety is worth more than the catch. Says they’ll regroup and be back on deck in the daylight. Now all he can do is hope the crab stay on their grounds. Johnathan says what they can do is be safe and get their quota.

Kodiak time, welcome back Wild Bill!!! He’s talking to his deckhand Jake, remember how he got creamed 8 days before that? A busted crane had them pushing their pots across deck and Jake wrenched his back big-time. Jake now thinks he messed himself up good, he’s in a lot of pain. Bill says Jake keeps people laughing, he’s a motivator and a good addition to the crew. The boat’s ready to go, but it will be tough running it a guy short so it looks like Jake is out for this trip. The four man deck is brutal, as deck boss Adam notes. They just have to move a bit faster now. Wild Bill is setting 90 pots on grounds that hit big 8 days ago. He says they can do some damage with this if it hits right. The crew continues to work. For 10 hours the shorthanded crew works, with a deck boss who keeps piling it on. Adam sure is a moody one, you’d think he was having a man period! Wild Bill says that Adam thinks everyone is too soft, but they’ve been grinding, and you can’t do a job like this without bruises and crushed knuckles and his crew is invaluable. Adam chides the skipper’s son, says he’s used to working with guys that are a lot faster, and goes after another guy. Then Bill steps in and tells him to stop, it’s hard on everyone, going to the point to telling him to settle the “f” down. Six hours later though, Adam is still slamming the crew. My god, take a p9ill dude! Bill says Adam is continuously telling everyone how bad they are and that’s hard on the rest of the crew. Zach Larson, the skipper’s son, is getting fed up. With the last pot in the water the beaten down deckhands grab a quick breakfast before pulling the pots. They talk to Bill about how Adam is dragging them down and Bill assures them he’ll take care of it. Adam says he knows he’s outperforming everyone, but wishes the pay would reflect it. Hey Adam, if you have to tell a camera how good you are, you’re not that good. When you’re that good, you just do it. The boat pulls up to the string, but when deckhand Eric struggles with the line, Adam unleashes yet again. Wild Bill says he’s starting to see stars he’s so angry. The pot comes up with good numbers, but Adam is not celebrating. Bill calls him to the wheelhouse, saying let’s get this out of the way. Says we’re finally on the crab, Adam starts to walk away and Bill yells to settle down. Adam flips him off, actually it’s a double flip off. Bill says they’re finally on the crab, everyone’s working their ass off, what happened to motivating, Adam knocks down the loudspeaker at that point. Bill responds by pulling him off deck and tells the rest of the crew it’ll be slow but they’ll figure it out.

Adam, you’re a douche.

We’re at the Cornelia now. Derek says the last delivery was 16, 000 pounds, no money made, but is hopeful for a better trip this time. All you can do is pick them put and put them down. Down below a crew meeting is being held. Jake says they can’t keep doing this, the window to catch crab is gone, if he wants to go check out more spots, cool, but he doesn’t want to pay for it. No one wants to pay for that either. Josh goes up and says they’re running out of money and if they spend it all and strike out they’re done. Derek says t he only way he’s worked through it is to keep driving, and Phil would say the same. Josh and Jake says they have no more to put out. Derek wants to try a couple more days. Josh says if you nail something, great, but something has to change. The Harris boys are concerned b/c the bills are racking up, and if this soak doesn’t produce the blue crab season is over and they have to head south for red crab. Josh says his dad can figure it out, but Steve says there’s no way Derek can. The next pot comes up, and as it’s pulled in, they see nothing. Josh says they needed numbers badly and this wasn’t what they were looking for. Derek says dead halibut alone is really bad. More empty pots come up. Jake says the elusive blue crab are called that b/c you can’t catch them. Ryan is shaking his head as Derek laments the bad haul. They’re all empty and the crew is disheartened, saying the captain doesn’t know what he’s doing. Jake/Josh are dropping two grand a day on fuel and food and are getting nothing I return. Josh says we tried but can only take it so far. The crew talks on deck as the boys say they’re losing money out of their pockets. Josh says they’re almost 17 grand out of pocket above what they wanted to spend and the crew says do what you have to do. Derek is listening in and says he can’t believe they’re quitting after 8 days, they should’ve given it a better effort but they’re calling it quits and fishing red crab.

Back to the Wizard, and his crab are at the point where dead loss is a big concern. Worth 50 bucks each, everyone that dies could kill the next and that’d be a big loss. Lynn comes up to apologize for falling asleep…..hey tell him how you turned off the watch alarm. Keith says up until last night he trusted him, but now he doesn’t b/c he was stone cold asleep. Lynn wants to be a great crabber and Keith says that’s all he needed to hear. Says Lynn has advanced this season, but if he takes another watch and gets caught sleeping he’ll be fired immediately. No talks no speeches, done deal.

Seabrooke again, on remote blue crab grounds. Scott says with Fan Greenhorn quitting they’re screwed b/c the crew has to put in extra effort to pick up that slack. NOTE TO FELLOW FANS: JUST BECAUSE IT LOOKS COOL ON TV DOESN’T MEAN YOU CAN DO IT TOO. Sorry for the caps, but seriously. That greenhorn watches as the crew works, but Captain Campbell says they have a job to do and don’t’ have time to worry about that guy. They have to set up a string, then get into St. Paul to offload. All he wants is a 10 average and as the first pot comes in, it’s empty save a few. While he’ll never measure up to Johnathan for me, I also think he could be a cool guy. Hey producers, keep this one, dump Keith and the RR. Captain says they have no time to mess around, just set back on low numbers and keep going. More work for the shorthanded crew. The greenhorn says he likes being out there, but he doesn’t have the mental strength to get over the pain. Deckhand Chris says must be nice to eat popsicles and chill, but he’s a sissy. Captain Campbell says it has to be humiliating, he couldn’t’ save face and would hide in his bunk, but not this guy, watching movies while the other guys are busting their asses. The crew shows their irritation, yelling out how he’s a female cat. After the last pot is set the crew takes time to formally accept the greenhorns resignation. They dump his gear downstairs. They don’t want anything to do with him and Captain Campbell says that a quitter is a quitter and he’ll be one his whole life. Now here’s my only thing to say to the Captain however….YOU HIRED A FAN OF THE SHOW WHO’S NEVER FISHED IN HIS LIFE. Again with the caps, I know, but what did he expect?

We go back to the Time Bandit with Johnathan’s signature remark of he’d rather be lucky than good. Says the gear will tell him whether to set back or head for other grounds. It’s been 24 hours since he called his crew in and now the crab may have moved on. Johnathan hopes to see “eureka!” (his words, not mine). These pots will determine if Johnathan made the right choice. As they come up they see riders and a GREAT pot! And Mike Rowe, I k now you didn’t write the lines, but no person’s life is worth crab. Justin says it’s looking good and Johnathan now knows where the crab are at. He orders the crew to dump the pots back. Eddie hopes to keep the average up for another 50 pots and then they can head home. For now, Johnathan says, life is good.

At Saint Paul Island, Captain Campbell prepares to do his first blue crab offload. I bet he knows how big his tank is! He likes what he sees and as the crab are offloaded, greenhorn Josh “Stroker” Graves comes on board. Captain Campbell says the workload is fierce and not to quit on him,. The greenhorn says they’ll have to carry him off the deck, and that’s what the skipper wants to hear. The Seabrooke pulls in 50,000 pounds, equal to $250,000. But before they go the Fan Greenhorn leaves the boat. Well that’s why he sucked, dumb-ass brought a suitcase on board. You don’t bring that on a crab boat, what kind of fan are you anyway?!? As the greenhorn leaves he says he never wants to do it again. But the Seabrooke heads out again, they’re ready to go! They head out with their third greenhorn in two weeks. Skipper says the first greenhorn to quit had it but didn’t want it, the second wanted it but didn’t have it and Stroker will be their savior. But then we see “Stroker” puking his guts out. The crew urges him to stay hydrated. The crew says it’s like a broken record with each greenhorn having to prove themselves.

After a painful 15 day marathon at sea, the Wizard steams into Dutch Harbor. Keith is racing against eh clock to get his crab out of the tanks. With only 90,000 lbs of crab on board any dead loss can mean disaster for skipper and crew. Keith urges them to hurry up when they get to the dock. As the sun sets, day 16 is fast approaching the Wizard’s precious catch. As the offload progresses, the body count grows. Taking hard won money from the Wizard’s crew…….Kieth says if you get the top layer off quick, the ones under dying could revive. As the last brailer leaves the tanks, the verdict is in. Keith says it’s a crying shame, about $20,000 worth of crab they won’t get paid for. Keith says he’ll never stay out 15 days in the future, ever again.

Back on the Cornelia Marie, they’re halfway to Dutch harbor. The crew talks about how it used to be a family but not anymore. Jake says Derek doesn’t see eye to eye with them, Josh says they have to work something out. Steve says he won’t come back for Derek and Freddie says he’ll quit too if anyone else does. Jake says if one goes, they all do, that’s how a team works and that’s what’s happening. If they don’t have a crew they don’t’ have nothing. Josh just wants to fish and learn how to fish. He’s torn, big time. Derek heads down for coffee. Josh asks if Derek has talked to Jake, and says he’s talking to the guys. Derek asks what’s going on and Josh says the guys don’t want to be on there anymore, they’re tired. Derek says after 8 days? Josh says they’re mentally tired and Derek can’t believe the crew doesn’t want hi t o go red crab fishing. Derek rips into Josh saying he’s screwing him over big time, but Josh says they’re not catching anything. So Derek goes to Jake and Jake says the crew omorale is bad, the guys are talking about leaving. Derek says they’re breaking their commitment to him, but Jake say they didn’t see any crab. Derek says not to turn it on him, but Jake says it keeps getting worse and he doesn’t want to fight. Derek says he likes to bring up the past and throw it on people. Jake brings up him smelling pot, Derek says he was smoking it, Jake dares Derek to smell him and says he’s making him look bad. Derek says he does it on himself. Jake says drop it, you’re trying to bring things up. Derek says Jake is the only one who knows the truth and leaves. Derek says big boys don’t walk it off and tells Josh that Jake has to get a grip. Says they want it the way it used to be laughingly. Jake says the absence of Phil is making the difference and he was the glue that held things together. It takes a certain type of personality to bring the crew together that way and Derek isn’t it. I agree. The episode ends with this.

As always, R.I.P Phil. Fair winds.

Alright, time for my weekly tradition.

It’s the “Have You Seen Us Because Our Fans Sure Didn’t This Week!” picture of the week. It’s not “Where’s Waldo?”, it’s “Where was the Northwestern?”.

Sad that I have to keep doing this. Discovery is getting better, but there’s only one boat that hasn’t been skipped over in an episode and that’s the Seabrooke. I’m thinking, why not cut them out from an episode?