Let’s Yakkity Yak! May 4th, 2010

Hello everyone to yet another edition of Let’s Yakkity Yak! How is everyones’ week going? Hopefully as good as mine, but remember, since no one’s found the asshat picture none of you are going to be as good as me! So let’s get down to it. But remember, if you want to talk about it, you should join us here in our forums!

A new study out shows that many parents do not believe that their kids are interested in sex, but also believe that everyone elses’ kids are.  Apparently they have a very hard time thinking about their teenagers knocking boots but see their peer group as highly sexual and sexually predatory. But according to the CDC, via an article on MSN, there were over 400 thousand births to teens aged 15 to 19 in 2006 and this is the bigger one for me, over 6 thousand for kids aged 10 to 14! And I so agree with the CDC’s next point; by viewing their kids as being holy and pure, they’re shifting the responsibility for any potential activity to others. True dat! Let me clue you in, oh disillusioned parents, your kids if not screwing already, are definitely thinking about it. THEY ARE. By denying in your own mind that they have any interest in sex, you are leading them to even more risk because they will not be educated on how to protect themselves. Yes, they’re your baby and you don’t want to think about them doing the deed but if they want to do it, they’re going to find a way and wouldn’t you want them to be educated on the subject and have means to protect themselves? Or would you rather go on denying it and then end up on Dr. Phil blaming someone else when they’re either pregnant, got someone else pregnant, or they have an STD or AIDS? Up to you, but personally I’d rather have my children protected.

So, everyone knows you don’t mess with Captain Jack Sparrow in the Pirates trilogy. But muggers beware! Don’t try to mug Johnny Depp or mug a friend of his either because he will step in. Depp was in LA recently with a friend and saw they were getting mugged, so he umped into the gight. The mugger had a broken bottle and approached Depp’s friend, British singer Stephen Jones demanding money. When Depp stepped in the mugger literally said “I ain’t stealing from Captain Jack.” Tehn the mugger dropped the weapon and, get this, Depp gave him some money and told him to straighten up his life. So know this, mess with a friend of Captain Jack and you mess with Jack himself! Good job Johnny!

So, do you get LOST every week like I do? Are you as disillusioned as I am by now? Probably not considering I’ve been on a hatefest with the powers that be since they killed off my Charlie BUT I will say this. If you miss tonight’s episode, YOU WILL MISS ONE MAJOR DEATH. Yeah, I just tipped that BUT I won’t reveal who it is. Yup, I know who it is. And I am shocked by it, well maybe not as much as I would’ve been had this not been the last season, but I’m still shocked because I considered this person one of the powers that be’s untouchables. This episode and the next will require a BIG box of Kleenex and fresh underwear because you will bawl and you will shit your shorts too. I never thought something like this would happen on LOST, but since it’s the last season, it’s happening.

Hey, anyone remember LC’s long ago love Jason Wahler from The Hills?Homeboy done MESSED UP, as he’s headed to the slammer for one misdemeanor count of driving with a blood alcohol level of .08 or higher. In exchange for this guilty plea prosecutors dropped another dharge of driving under the influence but Wahler will have to do time for what he did plead guilty to. That being siad, he gets a grand total of two whole days in jail, three years probation and three months in a program, as well as paying fines. Yeah, two whole days, just enough time to shake the latest hangover and gear up for more boozing! This whole drama started on March 19^thwhen he was in Newport Beach, just after he spent time in a Mexican prison for fighting at a nightclub. Way to go Wahler, six drinking related arrests, you going for a record buddy? Dumbass.

A 73 year old granny from Largo, Fla was charged with domestic battery after slapping her 17 year old granddaughter who had cursed at her. Apparently last Tuesday the granddaughter had stopped by to use granny’s computer, and get this, biznatch has to finish her senior year online because she got kkicked out of a Catholic school for cursing a nun. The grandmother reports that this lovely young woman and a paradigm of charm and grace kept telling her grandma to “f” off and using the same word about other family members. Granny, rightfully so, got tired of hearing it, so she got up and smacked her. I would’ve too! Then the girl grabs her grandma’s wrists so she can’t move but according to the police also asked that her grandmother not be arrested. Probably because she saw a meal ticket headed to the pokey. Alright, here’s my opinion. It has gotten WAY too easy on kids these days. In my day, had I used the “f” bomb I wouldn’t have remembered what happened after that, I would’ve had the shit beaten out of me. Kids get away with WAY too much these days because they know they can cry child abuse or whatnot and the parents will be in a crapstorm. And the disrespect has gotten out of hand as well, you don’t curse your freaking grandmother for christ’s sake! Grow up little girl, talk to the wrong person like that and you’re going to find yourself in a LOT more trouble than a smack from granny.

So that’s it for today, time for work! Keep your eyes and ears open because I’ll be back tomorrow! This is Ahrean….OUT.