Welcome everyone, to another edition of Let’s Yakkity Yak! Today is a special column, it’s an open letter to The Powers That Be, or TPTB of Lost, Carlton Cruse and Damen Lindelof. Why? Because of what happened on last night’s episode. So, if you haven’t seen last nights’ episode, stop reading now. But if you want, you’re always welcome to join us here to discuss it!
An Open Letter to Carlton Cruse and Damen Lindelof, TPTB of LOST. Kiss my jiggly white butt. No, seriously, kiss it. For the last five seasons you’ve convinced me more and more that your core group of Losties are what you center the show around and last night convinced me of it. I’m thoroughly convinced that the only characters you were truly EVER invested in were Hurley, Kate, Jack, Sawyer and Locke/Flocke. The rest of them you didn’t care one way or the other. Oh sure, you mask it with a heroic death here and there, you throw in some nice sad music and have your precious Core Group cry and sad and all but that’s it. Why even create other characters? Dont’ go past the break here if you dont’ want to know what happened.
Last night alone we “lost” Sayid, Jin, Sun and Frank. They’re all dead on the island now. Sayid died whilst running to the other end of the sub with a bomb, hoping to save his friends. Sun was trapped by wreckage and Jin refused to leave her so they both drowned. Frank got slammed by a sub hatch door and is dead too. And the first words out of my mouth were “Kiss my hairy balls TPTB!”. When JJ Abrams left the show, the heart and soul of this show died. You two didn’t pick it up, you grabbed it and threw it down the toilet. You fucked it up royally, and it had such great potential. But instead you focused on your Core Group, and missed out on some great talent, and I truly believe Dom Monaghan left the show because he was sick of being a side character. When the show started it was about a group of plane crash survivors, and that’s what it was through Season 1. But then JJ left, Season 2 came and it all went downhill from there.
For years you’ve been telling us this show as about those on the island, how it changes them, and how they grow and learn from it and use that knowledge when they leave the island. LIE. Yeah, they’re off the island in another timeline, but that’s not the same. You promised us so much and you didn’t deliver. This season even you’ve given statements that the show can’t always be about the fans and such, so basically you said you’re going to do it your way and screw the rest of us. Should fans lead what happens on a show? No. But don’t make five years of promises and barely deliver on any of them.
You guys took my Charlie away a few years ago, last night you took my Sayid. So kiss my ass. What I hate the most is that I invested myself in this show for the last six years and it really sucks when you do that only to have it ripped from you at the end by a sucky ass ending such as this. Yeah, there’s three more episodes left, big whoop. You going to bring Sayid back? Nope. Charlie? Not on island. Unless you get him and Claire together in the alt timeline in the next three episodes, well, I can’t do anything but suck it bitches. I hate that you always kill off characters YOU think are expendable when what you dont’ really realize is that the only real main character that isn’t polarizing to the fans is Hurley. Jack, Kate, Sawyer and Locke you either love them or hate them but I have yet to come across anyone that doesn’t like Hurley. What was it about them that made you focus JUST on them?
Okay, I can thank you for one thing. At least you didn’t take Sayid out like the bitches you two are. At least he died heroically. I think he died thinking Flock would bring Nadia back but who knows if that’s true. The funniest thing about all of this is that you saved this atrocity until the very end, so you could go running off into a corner not fearing much fan retribution since the show is over anyways. But you know what? The show died, like I said before, when Abrams left. You two killed it. You’re not clever with all of this, you’re not some big thing either. Ever wonder why LOST didnt’ win Best Drama Emmy after Season One? Ever wonder why people STILL and probably always will say Season One was the best season out of them all? Because you guys didnt’ have total control over it. If you’d kept it on that path, and not strayed as far as you have, then you probably wouldn’t be in this place, your show ending.
You had so many opportunities and you pissed them all away. So on behalf of all Charlie, Sayid, Sun, Jin and Frank fans I’d like to say screw you, bite me, fuck off, kiss my ass and blow me.
Join us tomorrow when I’ve cooled off and you’ll get actual news and gossip. Keep your eyes and ears open, this is Ahrean……..OUT.