Alicia Keys, pregnant and engaged!

[singlepic id=242 w=120 h=140 float=right]It has been reported that Alicia Keys is now expecting her first child, and is engaged to be married to Producer Swizz Beatz.  Beatz has written songs for such artists as Beyonce, Jay Z and many others.  Beatz was married previously and has two children of his own.  They plan on…

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…and the winner of American Idol is…

[singlepic id=243 w=320 h=240 float=left]So another season of American Idol has come to a close.  How would I wrap up the season?  Well, there were a few good moments, and many boring ones.  I myself was a huge Crystal fan, and thought the final two were the perfect choice.  America got that part of it right.  Crystal deserved the win for sure, having many more great moments during the season than Lee had, however I don’t think she needed it as much as Lee did, so the winning choice still made me happy.  Now I know there are many out there that did not prefer the fawning over Crystal that the judges seemed to do, I myself thought it appropriate however since in my opinion she was that good.  Last year though, I was on the other end of that statement, thinking Adam did not deserve the fawning, so I know it all comes down to taste.

The finale:  Now I don’t know if it’s my age, my taste, a little bit of both, but I personally thought this was one of the best finales AI had ever had.  It almost felt like they called me, and asked who I would like to see perform.  Christina was amazing as usual and I loved her new song, Janet was a terrific surprise although that first song she sang sounded eerily like Michael to me (Plus I would have loved to see Paula out there dancing during “Nasty Boys” seeing as she was a choreographer on the video.  I wonder if they made up yet?  I know they had a major falling out years ago), Michael McDonald was awesome (couldn’t believe he was there since he is noticeably absent from the Doobies ALWAYS), Joe Cocker was great, the Bee Gee’s, Hall and Oates, Chicago, all wonderful, and the surprise visit from Bret Michaels was real neat, although I’m not sure he should be doing things against his doctors orders, probably not smart… I have to say though my favorite moment was Alanis.  The notable change in lyric on “You Oughta Know” (from “Would she go down on you in a theater” to “would she go down with you to a theater”) made me chuckle out loud.  I just wish that segment would have lasted longer, although I know (since I know the lyrics to that song) that there wasn’t too much further they could have gone with that song without getting crazy with the changes or the sensor button!

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LOST: End to an Era

Whether you have been engulfed by LOST from the beginning, lost all faith in the show, or waver on some electromagnetic fence somewhere, the TV world will be saying goodbye to a show many will claim to have fallen an integral part of television history. From the initial plane crash, the “eye-opening” first scene, polar…

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Network Upfronts: NBC unveils 2010-2011 TV Schedule

NBC recently unveiled their 2010-2011 Primetime schedule today, a day before their upfront presentations to advertisers. NBC has added FIVE new comedies, SEVEN new dramas, and ONE new “alternative” program (whatever that really means) in hopes of revamping what many may argue to be one of the weakest networks on television. Click below and visit our forums to see what the new schedule looks like. What will you be watching? What interests you? What sounds like a weak concept?

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Let’s Yakkity Yak! May 10th, 2010. An Open Letter to Carol and Brandy of The Amazing Race 16, And Congratulations to Dan and Jordan For Winning!

Welcome back, didja miss me? Anyways, here we are again, with Let’s Yakkity Yak! And this is a special edition because I’m so disgusted by one thing I saw on last night’s finale and also so pleased with another part so I have to devote my column to just that. If you have any comments or thoughts, join us here!

Alright, so let’s start with the fun stuff. Congratulations to brothers Dan and Jordan for being the winners of The Amazing Race 16!!! dan-and-jordanSure, they were somewhat annoying here and there throughout the race, but they were true fans of the race and ran it well, deserving the win. In fact, this is the first season where I’ve liked all three teams at the end, so I didn’t mind who won. But I know that the brothers have watched every season and love this show so it’s great to see them fully realize their dream. Yes, I was a Jeff and Jordan fan and still am, love them! But aside from them, am glad to see who won the whole thing. It was truly awesome to see that they’d written down all the eliminations and non-eliminations from the season in anticipation of that last challenge. So smart and that’s what got them the win I believe. So way to go guys!

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Let’s Yakkity Yak! May 5th, 2010 – An Open Letter to Carlton Cruse and Damen Lindelof of LOST

Welcome everyone, to another edition of Let’s Yakkity Yak! Today is a special column, it’s an open letter to The Powers That Be, or TPTB of Lost, Carlton Cruse and Damen Lindelof. Why? Because of what happened on last night’s episode. So, if you haven’t seen last nights’ episode, stop reading now. But if you want, you’re always welcome to join us here to discuss it!

lost11An Open Letter to Carlton Cruse and Damen Lindelof, TPTB of LOST. Kiss my jiggly white butt. No, seriously, kiss it. For the last five seasons you’ve convinced me more and more that your core group of Losties are what you center the show around and last night convinced me of it. I’m thoroughly convinced that the only characters you were truly EVER invested in were Hurley, Kate, Jack, Sawyer and Locke/Flocke. The rest of them you didn’t care  one way or the other. Oh sure, you mask it with a heroic death here and there, you throw in some nice sad music and have your precious Core Group cry and sad and all but that’s it. Why even create other characters? Dont’ go past the break here if you dont’ want to know what happened.

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Let’s Yakkity Yak! May 4th, 2010

Hello everyone to yet another edition of Let’s Yakkity Yak! How is everyones’ week going? Hopefully as good as mine, but remember, since no one’s found the asshat picture none of you are going to be as good as me! So let’s get down to it. But remember, if you want to talk about it, you should join us here in our forums!

 

A new study out shows that many parents do not believe that their kids are interested in sex, but also believe that everyone elses’ kids are. salt-n-pepa-lets-talk-about-s-409886 Apparently they have a very hard time thinking about their teenagers knocking boots but see their peer group as highly sexual and sexually predatory. But according to the CDC, via an article on MSN, there were over 400 thousand births to teens aged 15 to 19 in 2006 and this is the bigger one for me, over 6 thousand for kids aged 10 to 14! And I so agree with the CDC’s next point; by viewing their kids as being holy and pure, they’re shifting the responsibility for any potential activity to others. True dat! Let me clue you in, oh disillusioned parents, your kids if not screwing already, are definitely thinking about it. THEY ARE. By denying in your own mind that they have any interest in sex, you are leading them to even more risk because they will not be educated on how to protect themselves. Yes, they’re your baby and you don’t want to think about them doing the deed but if they want to do it, they’re going to find a way and wouldn’t you want them to be educated on the subject and have means to protect themselves? Or would you rather go on denying it and then end up on Dr. Phil blaming someone else when they’re either pregnant, got someone else pregnant, or they have an STD or AIDS? Up to you, but personally I’d rather have my children protected.

 

So, everyone knows you don’t mess with Captain Jack Sparrow in the Pirates trilogy. But muggers beware! Don’t try to mug Johnny Depp or mug a friend of his either because he will step in. default_2edb_johnny-depp______Depp was in LA recently with a friend and saw they were getting mugged, so he umped into the gight. The mugger had a broken bottle and approached Depp’s friend, British singer Stephen Jones demanding money. When Depp stepped in the mugger literally said “I ain’t stealing from Captain Jack.” Tehn the mugger dropped the weapon and, get this, Depp gave him some money and told him to straighten up his life. So know this, mess with a friend of Captain Jack and you mess with Jack himself! Good job Johnny!

 

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Let’s Yakkity Yak! May 3rd, 2010

Welcome back everyone to Let’s Yakkity Yak! Hopefully y’all had a great weekend, and are ready for yet another work week. What’s that? No, screw you! Roflmao! In all seriousness, I’m glad you came back to give us another try so let’s get down to it. But be sure to come on into our forum and tell us what you think!

 

Miss Halle Berry is speaking out about the split between her and Gabriel Aubry and let’s just say her story is MUCH different than his! Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, even post relationship and you do NOT mess with Miss Halle. halle-berry-4-240From the tidbits I got off of People Magazine, she is saying that the split occurred months ago and the SHE kicked him out, he didn’t just choose to leave. Plus, from her side, he wasn’t pulling his weight in the relationship and she wanted to move on. The good part of all of this is that they are both commited to their daughter and what’s best for her. Regardless, it seems as though they both have differing stories as to what casued the split and this should be interesting to watch!

 

Hey, how about some irony? According to Popeater.com, Michael Lohan is seeking conservatorship over his daughter, Lindsay Hot Mess Lohan, much like Britney’s dad has done. michael_lohan_lindsay_lohan_ali_lohNow both fathers don’t have the greatest track records when it comes to an image of astute parenting BUT I do give the edge to Spears’ father. Michael Lohan is a tool, plain and simple. Even better, he’s a discount tool at the dollar store, you know, the piece of shit kind that breaks the first time you try to use it. We’ve all heard the stories of his lovely ability in restraint, and yeah that’s sarcasm. We’ve all heard his fame seeking attempts, along with his ex, Dina “I Want To Be On Dancing With The Stars” Lohan. What pisses me off more than anything is when a child gets famous and their parent tries to milk off it. Sure, you conceived and birthed the child, sure you raised them (sometimes) but this doesn’t automatically mean that you get everything that kid who’s working their ass off gets. And with these two, it is a small wonder that Lindsay is as messed up as she is! Get a life Michael Lohan!

 

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Let’s Yakkity Yak! May 2nd, 2010

Welcome everyone to another edition of Let’s Yakkity Yaks! In today’s edition I introduce yet another feature, called “Who’s Bringing Sexy Yak?” and yes, one person I consider sexylicious will be featured. :) But before we get down to the sexiness, I have to wonder, are you all really that sucky at finding my asshat? Lol! Noone’s found it yet, but it’s okay, not everyone can be as good as me. So let’s get to some news and gossip, shall we? Don’t forget to join us in our forums to tell us what you think!

 

Mr. Gwen Stefani, aka Gavin Rossdale, is speaking out now that “I’m Fading From The Spotlight So I Have To Do Something”, aka Courtney Love has opened her jaw about a supposed affair they carried on. 14646941_gwen-stefani-gavin-rossdaleAccording to MSN.com’s Wonderwall, although he doesn’t outright deny her claims, he does state that his marriage to Stefani “is fine”. This tells me a couple things. One, he did bed Love, which leads me to question his judgement and two, yeah, his judgement sucks. Seriously, why all of a sudden are all of these male celebrities going off with scags?!? Sure, this time it was awhile back but then again…..I could understand if he had bedded a Victoria’s Secret Angel or something but Courtney freaking Love?!? My god in heaven, was he desperate or something?

 

Don’t cough around Christina Aguilera, she’ll threaten to kill you! christina_aguilera-pink-couchAt least that’s what one reporter found out recently. In giving an interview regarding her new album, you can hear in the background a reporter coughing. You can see a look of irritation on her face, and then she says, “He coughs during my interview?!? Shoot him!” and laughs, as if that’s to say “Oh I’m only kidding….”. Bitch please! Give him a Ricola and keep on going, don’t act as though your shit don’t stink because guess what, it does. You’re beautiful, you have a voice from God, but that doesn’t mean you’re some great almighty mystical creature that mere mortals cannot cough in front of. Get the hell over yourself.

 

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Let’s Yakkity Yak! May 1st, 2010

Hello hello hello everybody and welcome to the first Saturday edition of Let’s Yakkity Yak! In case you don’t see the link at the bottom, or rather didn’t in my previous editions, the link to our Let’s Yakkity Yak thread, in our forum, is here. And you have to register to comment, as well as other things! I have a lot of good stuff I want to talk about today, we’re asshats abound, except for one thing. How would you like to be mentioned in Let’s Yakkity Yak? Well here’s’ your chance. Buried somewhere in the forum is a picture. A picture of what, you ask? Well, I’ll give you a clue. It’s my favorite phrase…..asshat. So find that asshat and PM me, Ahrean, the link to the thread, just copy and paste it right out of your web browser, and the post number and you will get mentioned in the Sunday edition of Let’s Yakkity Yak! Now wait, you say, how the hell am I going to search through all the threads you have in there to find that picture? I’ll give you three clues to help you along the way.

 

Clue #1 – How’s your life? It’s been a while. God it’s good to see you smile.

Clue #2 – Y. 5 squared. Quarter. Take your pick.

Clue #3 – Pucker up baby.

 

Alright, so let’s get started.

 

Oh Usher. Or as Ludacris annoyingly calls him “Ursher”. usher_150Weeks after appearing on American Idol, this ASSHAT decides he has to open his overly toothy mouth to say that it makes talented singers celebs and then just casts them aside. In an article on msn. Com he stated, “The true art form of music is being lost, because it seems so easy that everyone can do it, and that it can happen overnight. Television is a lie. It can’t happen overnight. The artist who thinks that it can just comes and goes. The reason why great singers cannot exist in this time is maybe because they’re not properly managed, and maybe they don’t’ understand the full gamut of what being an entertainer is.” Hands up if you thin Usher doesn’t’ have the slightest fucking clue what the word gamut means and threw it in there after googling it, so he could sound cool. Ursher, or Usher, or whatever the hell you want to call him went on to say that the music industry is dying every day. Record companies are mass producing versions of those types of people and versions of what he said was broken art. He also threw in that even though it sells records, it damages the business. Have you put your hands or hand down yet? Back up if you think Usher is a bit pissed that some AI veterans are doing better than he is, and pissed that he didn’t have this option when he was trying to break into the business? Remember that song “Hey Jealousy”? Anyone wanna do a drive-by with me at Usher’s house to blast that song? He sounds so much like the bitch that criticized AI for letting singers take the easy way out by not having to work for a career, I don’t’ even remember her name but yeah, she got truly famous after McPhee sang “Black Horse and a Cherry Tree” on Idol. Granted, I have my own issues with American Idol. *COUGHDITCHKARACOUGH* But I’m sick and tired of established artists criticizing it and saying these kids don’t have to work for anything. Bite me butt munch, you don’t’ have the first clue what these kids go through on a daily basis when they’re on that show, and you DO know the work they have to do afterward to keep their name and music out there. It’s not like the show ends and they get handed instant, LASTING fame. So screw you Usher, AI probably helped sell a shitload of your records. ASSHAT.

 

Halle Berry has split from her baby daddy, Canadian model and saliva inducing Gabriel Aubry, father to her daughter Nahla. halle-berry-and-gabriel-aubry Apparently, they did it the right way though, working for months on a financial and custody arrangement, and what’s best for their little girl. Here’s the kicker. It was Aubry who pulled the plug, evidently because of the age difference. He didn’t feel it was working anymore, but when they first started seeing each other the age difference didn’t matter. So here’s what I think. I think he was a regular Joe like all of us, met and bedded Halle Freaking Berry, got her knocked up and WHAMMO, instant fame. Now that he has it, he doesn’t need her and it’s on to his next conquest. Do I get to say ASSHAT again? Yeah, I do. Remember, I’m not a journalist, so I don’t have to be objective or really even factually correct. The best is yet to come though because he started feeling an attraction towards other women. The ONE thing I can say, if that part is true, is that at least this guy had the decency to split before he dipped in another pool. But seriously, this is HALLE FREAKING BERRY, what more could any of the men who’ve been with her want?!? Asshats, the lot of them. No more memorable kisses for them!

 

Anyone not living under a rock knows by now that Tiger likes to dip his pen in various inkwells but even I didn’t think it was this bad. Celebitchy reports that Tiger admitted to his wife Elin that he “slept” with 120 women. tiger-woods Stop right there……….who the hell made up the phrase “slept with” in reference to sex? Anyone not a serial killer normally has sex with someone that is awake and responsive. You don’t sleep when you screw, you do that afterward! Alright back to asshat #3. It gets better. After admitting to the 120 women, he neglected to include his 21 year old neighbor. My head is spinning. Tiger isn’t THAT cute ladies, oh wait, he’s rich, that’s right. I guess we all can’t have standards can we? Is a Fendi bag worth sleeping with douche-bag? I’m telling you, if you put David Duchovny, Tiger Woods and Michael Douglas (before he was reformed) all together and set them loose on a big city, every female in that city would be screwed before morning. Tiger, Tiger, Tiger, you are NOT the cat’s meow. You’re just a dick.

 

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Let’s Yakkity Yak! April 30th, 2010

Welcome back ladies and germs, to another edition of Let’s Yakkity Yak! And let’s do just that, get down to it.

 

Alright so everyone knows about Time magazine’s Most Influential People articles and the prestige being put on that list will give you. But what about being called Least Influential? Well well well, remember my good buddies, the Pratts?

Otherwise known as Albino Eyebrow Dipwad and his Frankensteinian bride? heidi-and-spencerOr if you really need help, Speidi. Spencer and Heidi for god’s sake! Anyways, according to an article I found on Wonderwall, courtesy of MSN, they get the distinct honor of being named the Least Influential People. And I officially am in love with Time magazine. Even moreso that Time put them in the “moron” category. Here’s what they said about Franken…..sorry, Heidi. “You used to be famous for being famous. Then you were famous for getting lots of plastic surgery and selling only 658 copies of your album in its first week. Now you’re not famous. That was fast.” And her albino hubby? Well this is what they had to say about Spencer. “Montag fired him as her manager. It’s like we need a whole other list of the uninfluential to the uninfluential.” Beyond that, Us Magazine says they’re panicked about being out of the limelight after The Hills ends this season. And this terrifies me because the next thing you know, there will be a baby Speidi. God help that kid. Other luckies to make Time’s list are Joaquin Phoenix, Octomom, Paula Abdul and Brian Dunkleman (remember the guy that co-hosted the first season of American Idol with Seacrest?). While I agree with most, I take exception to Abdul. Take her out, put Kara “I like to wear earrings that look like bedazzled alien snot” Dioguardi on the list. Sure, she’s a songwriter and sure, she’s on Idol right now, but if anyone is influenced by her I have to question their judgement.

 

Well this is nice. In New York, police told a family that their youngest son had been killed in a car crash. Yet 90 minutes later they realized he was at home, asleep. new-york-city_0Why did the cops think it was their kid? One of the dead men had his license clutched in his hand. Relatives were told he was gone, someone was sent to tell grandma too. But then his brother rushed to the house he shared with the not-dead man and found him there. The man that died with the license in his hand turned out to be a one-time frat brother of the not-dead man. Alright, two questions. Why would a guy be in a car crash actually hanging onto his own license? And how would someone not actually go to their son’s house to check and see if maybe, just maybe this was a mistake? Or ask to see the body? Weirdness abound.

 

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Let’s Yakkity Yak!!! April 29th, 2010

Hello, hello, hello everyone! Ahrean here with another edition of Let’s Yakkity Yak! We have some interesting and not so surprising stories today, so let’s get right to it.

 

The International Olympic Committee issued a decision on 4/28/10 to strip the Chinese Women’s Team Bronze medal won in the 2000 Summer Olympics, which were held in Sydney, Australia.

 53-underage_gymnast_olympics_sff_embedded_prod_affiliate_81This decision was made after one of the team members, Dong Fangxiao, was discovered to have been 14 at the time the games were held. This was found out due to her registration as a national technical official in the 2008 Beijing Olympics, showing her birth date to be in 1986, which would’ve made her 14 at the time of the Sydney games, as said before. This means that the USA Women’s team will be awarded the bronze medal, and Fangxiao will also be stripped of her 6th and 7thplace finishes in other events. Seriously though, is anyone surprised at this? These girls all looked like they were about 10 years old even, everyone and their dog KNEW they weren’t of the age required to be in the Olympics but no evidence had been brought forth to support it. But seriously, why? Those in these elite sports are already subject to so much, including the predictable amenorrhea (which is a delay in menstruation and inevitable shorter statue), so to put quite literally a child into this is disgusting in my opinion. I’m glad they were finally exposed.

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Welcome To Let’s Yakkity Yak! April 28th, 2010

Welcome to the inaugural edition of Ahrean’s Hot Topic Blog! Every morning you’re going to get Ahrean’s thoughts on various hot news stories happening around the world and it can range from world news, to celebrity gossip, to reality show happenings and much more!  First things first. 45 years after the assasination of Malcolm X,…

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Has American Idol jumped the shark??

logo_sharkJumping the shark. Long running shows usually run into this problem after a while, right? No one show can stay perfect, right? Is American Idol the latest show to jump the shark? Click below to read on and see why this Yakkster thinks so. Everything from Ryan to Simon to this season’s contestants to season mentors to Ford music videos to those horrendous group performances…I’ve come up with a number of reasons why I think this show might not be around for much longer. Read on and then join our forum to let us know what you think! Make your voice heard!

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Adam Lambert Sighting!

We have done our research, and are 95% sure we had ourselves an Adam Lambert sighting at Starbucks in Malibu Ca.  Note the black nail polish, sunglasses, pompadour hairdo, earrings and the purple in the hair (as seen on AI this last week).  What you are unable to note is the height and voice, however…

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Reality Gets Naked

Kara DioGuardi has decided to join Chelsea Handler and Top Chef host Padma Lakshmi to model her birthday suit in the “Nude” Issue of Allure Magazine that hits newsstands Tuesday. While Padma talks of her preference to sleep in the nude, Kara tells us about her own bouts with eating disorders saying that she doesn’t use food to numb herself anymore. Kara also goes on to tout where she was a size 6 back in those dark days now she’s a comfortable size 2.

Click “Continue reading”  to see the pics… then come talk about it in the forum!

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