Let’s Yakkity Yak! May 2nd, 2010

Welcome everyone to another edition of Let’s Yakkity Yaks! In today’s edition I introduce yet another feature, called “Who’s Bringing Sexy Yak?” and yes, one person I consider sexylicious will be featured. :) But before we get down to the sexiness, I have to wonder, are you all really that sucky at finding my asshat? Lol! Noone’s found it yet, but it’s okay, not everyone can be as good as me. So let’s get to some news and gossip, shall we? Don’t forget to join us in our forums to tell us what you think!

 

Mr. Gwen Stefani, aka Gavin Rossdale, is speaking out now that “I’m Fading From The Spotlight So I Have To Do Something”, aka Courtney Love has opened her jaw about a supposed affair they carried on. 14646941_gwen-stefani-gavin-rossdaleAccording to MSN.com’s Wonderwall, although he doesn’t outright deny her claims, he does state that his marriage to Stefani “is fine”. This tells me a couple things. One, he did bed Love, which leads me to question his judgement and two, yeah, his judgement sucks. Seriously, why all of a sudden are all of these male celebrities going off with scags?!? Sure, this time it was awhile back but then again…..I could understand if he had bedded a Victoria’s Secret Angel or something but Courtney freaking Love?!? My god in heaven, was he desperate or something?

 

Don’t cough around Christina Aguilera, she’ll threaten to kill you! christina_aguilera-pink-couchAt least that’s what one reporter found out recently. In giving an interview regarding her new album, you can hear in the background a reporter coughing. You can see a look of irritation on her face, and then she says, “He coughs during my interview?!? Shoot him!” and laughs, as if that’s to say “Oh I’m only kidding….”. Bitch please! Give him a Ricola and keep on going, don’t act as though your shit don’t stink because guess what, it does. You’re beautiful, you have a voice from God, but that doesn’t mean you’re some great almighty mystical creature that mere mortals cannot cough in front of. Get the hell over yourself.

 

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Let’s Yakkity Yak! May 1st, 2010

Hello hello hello everybody and welcome to the first Saturday edition of Let’s Yakkity Yak! In case you don’t see the link at the bottom, or rather didn’t in my previous editions, the link to our Let’s Yakkity Yak thread, in our forum, is here. And you have to register to comment, as well as other things! I have a lot of good stuff I want to talk about today, we’re asshats abound, except for one thing. How would you like to be mentioned in Let’s Yakkity Yak? Well here’s’ your chance. Buried somewhere in the forum is a picture. A picture of what, you ask? Well, I’ll give you a clue. It’s my favorite phrase…..asshat. So find that asshat and PM me, Ahrean, the link to the thread, just copy and paste it right out of your web browser, and the post number and you will get mentioned in the Sunday edition of Let’s Yakkity Yak! Now wait, you say, how the hell am I going to search through all the threads you have in there to find that picture? I’ll give you three clues to help you along the way.

 

Clue #1 – How’s your life? It’s been a while. God it’s good to see you smile.

Clue #2 – Y. 5 squared. Quarter. Take your pick.

Clue #3 – Pucker up baby.

 

Alright, so let’s get started.

 

Oh Usher. Or as Ludacris annoyingly calls him “Ursher”. usher_150Weeks after appearing on American Idol, this ASSHAT decides he has to open his overly toothy mouth to say that it makes talented singers celebs and then just casts them aside. In an article on msn. Com he stated, “The true art form of music is being lost, because it seems so easy that everyone can do it, and that it can happen overnight. Television is a lie. It can’t happen overnight. The artist who thinks that it can just comes and goes. The reason why great singers cannot exist in this time is maybe because they’re not properly managed, and maybe they don’t’ understand the full gamut of what being an entertainer is.” Hands up if you thin Usher doesn’t’ have the slightest fucking clue what the word gamut means and threw it in there after googling it, so he could sound cool. Ursher, or Usher, or whatever the hell you want to call him went on to say that the music industry is dying every day. Record companies are mass producing versions of those types of people and versions of what he said was broken art. He also threw in that even though it sells records, it damages the business. Have you put your hands or hand down yet? Back up if you think Usher is a bit pissed that some AI veterans are doing better than he is, and pissed that he didn’t have this option when he was trying to break into the business? Remember that song “Hey Jealousy”? Anyone wanna do a drive-by with me at Usher’s house to blast that song? He sounds so much like the bitch that criticized AI for letting singers take the easy way out by not having to work for a career, I don’t’ even remember her name but yeah, she got truly famous after McPhee sang “Black Horse and a Cherry Tree” on Idol. Granted, I have my own issues with American Idol. *COUGHDITCHKARACOUGH* But I’m sick and tired of established artists criticizing it and saying these kids don’t have to work for anything. Bite me butt munch, you don’t’ have the first clue what these kids go through on a daily basis when they’re on that show, and you DO know the work they have to do afterward to keep their name and music out there. It’s not like the show ends and they get handed instant, LASTING fame. So screw you Usher, AI probably helped sell a shitload of your records. ASSHAT.

 

Halle Berry has split from her baby daddy, Canadian model and saliva inducing Gabriel Aubry, father to her daughter Nahla. halle-berry-and-gabriel-aubry Apparently, they did it the right way though, working for months on a financial and custody arrangement, and what’s best for their little girl. Here’s the kicker. It was Aubry who pulled the plug, evidently because of the age difference. He didn’t feel it was working anymore, but when they first started seeing each other the age difference didn’t matter. So here’s what I think. I think he was a regular Joe like all of us, met and bedded Halle Freaking Berry, got her knocked up and WHAMMO, instant fame. Now that he has it, he doesn’t need her and it’s on to his next conquest. Do I get to say ASSHAT again? Yeah, I do. Remember, I’m not a journalist, so I don’t have to be objective or really even factually correct. The best is yet to come though because he started feeling an attraction towards other women. The ONE thing I can say, if that part is true, is that at least this guy had the decency to split before he dipped in another pool. But seriously, this is HALLE FREAKING BERRY, what more could any of the men who’ve been with her want?!? Asshats, the lot of them. No more memorable kisses for them!

 

Anyone not living under a rock knows by now that Tiger likes to dip his pen in various inkwells but even I didn’t think it was this bad. Celebitchy reports that Tiger admitted to his wife Elin that he “slept” with 120 women. tiger-woods Stop right there……….who the hell made up the phrase “slept with” in reference to sex? Anyone not a serial killer normally has sex with someone that is awake and responsive. You don’t sleep when you screw, you do that afterward! Alright back to asshat #3. It gets better. After admitting to the 120 women, he neglected to include his 21 year old neighbor. My head is spinning. Tiger isn’t THAT cute ladies, oh wait, he’s rich, that’s right. I guess we all can’t have standards can we? Is a Fendi bag worth sleeping with douche-bag? I’m telling you, if you put David Duchovny, Tiger Woods and Michael Douglas (before he was reformed) all together and set them loose on a big city, every female in that city would be screwed before morning. Tiger, Tiger, Tiger, you are NOT the cat’s meow. You’re just a dick.

 

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Let’s Yakkity Yak! April 30th, 2010

Welcome back ladies and germs, to another edition of Let’s Yakkity Yak! And let’s do just that, get down to it.

 

Alright so everyone knows about Time magazine’s Most Influential People articles and the prestige being put on that list will give you. But what about being called Least Influential? Well well well, remember my good buddies, the Pratts?

Otherwise known as Albino Eyebrow Dipwad and his Frankensteinian bride? heidi-and-spencerOr if you really need help, Speidi. Spencer and Heidi for god’s sake! Anyways, according to an article I found on Wonderwall, courtesy of MSN, they get the distinct honor of being named the Least Influential People. And I officially am in love with Time magazine. Even moreso that Time put them in the “moron” category. Here’s what they said about Franken…..sorry, Heidi. “You used to be famous for being famous. Then you were famous for getting lots of plastic surgery and selling only 658 copies of your album in its first week. Now you’re not famous. That was fast.” And her albino hubby? Well this is what they had to say about Spencer. “Montag fired him as her manager. It’s like we need a whole other list of the uninfluential to the uninfluential.” Beyond that, Us Magazine says they’re panicked about being out of the limelight after The Hills ends this season. And this terrifies me because the next thing you know, there will be a baby Speidi. God help that kid. Other luckies to make Time’s list are Joaquin Phoenix, Octomom, Paula Abdul and Brian Dunkleman (remember the guy that co-hosted the first season of American Idol with Seacrest?). While I agree with most, I take exception to Abdul. Take her out, put Kara “I like to wear earrings that look like bedazzled alien snot” Dioguardi on the list. Sure, she’s a songwriter and sure, she’s on Idol right now, but if anyone is influenced by her I have to question their judgement.

 

Well this is nice. In New York, police told a family that their youngest son had been killed in a car crash. Yet 90 minutes later they realized he was at home, asleep. new-york-city_0Why did the cops think it was their kid? One of the dead men had his license clutched in his hand. Relatives were told he was gone, someone was sent to tell grandma too. But then his brother rushed to the house he shared with the not-dead man and found him there. The man that died with the license in his hand turned out to be a one-time frat brother of the not-dead man. Alright, two questions. Why would a guy be in a car crash actually hanging onto his own license? And how would someone not actually go to their son’s house to check and see if maybe, just maybe this was a mistake? Or ask to see the body? Weirdness abound.

 

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Let’s Yakkity Yak!!! April 29th, 2010

Hello, hello, hello everyone! Ahrean here with another edition of Let’s Yakkity Yak! We have some interesting and not so surprising stories today, so let’s get right to it.

 

The International Olympic Committee issued a decision on 4/28/10 to strip the Chinese Women’s Team Bronze medal won in the 2000 Summer Olympics, which were held in Sydney, Australia.

 53-underage_gymnast_olympics_sff_embedded_prod_affiliate_81This decision was made after one of the team members, Dong Fangxiao, was discovered to have been 14 at the time the games were held. This was found out due to her registration as a national technical official in the 2008 Beijing Olympics, showing her birth date to be in 1986, which would’ve made her 14 at the time of the Sydney games, as said before. This means that the USA Women’s team will be awarded the bronze medal, and Fangxiao will also be stripped of her 6th and 7thplace finishes in other events. Seriously though, is anyone surprised at this? These girls all looked like they were about 10 years old even, everyone and their dog KNEW they weren’t of the age required to be in the Olympics but no evidence had been brought forth to support it. But seriously, why? Those in these elite sports are already subject to so much, including the predictable amenorrhea (which is a delay in menstruation and inevitable shorter statue), so to put quite literally a child into this is disgusting in my opinion. I’m glad they were finally exposed.

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Welcome To Let’s Yakkity Yak! April 28th, 2010

Welcome to the inaugural edition of Ahrean’s Hot Topic Blog! Every morning you’re going to get Ahrean’s thoughts on various hot news stories happening around the world and it can range from world news, to celebrity gossip, to reality show happenings and much more!  First things first. 45 years after the assasination of Malcolm X,…

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Has American Idol jumped the shark??

logo_sharkJumping the shark. Long running shows usually run into this problem after a while, right? No one show can stay perfect, right? Is American Idol the latest show to jump the shark? Click below to read on and see why this Yakkster thinks so. Everything from Ryan to Simon to this season’s contestants to season mentors to Ford music videos to those horrendous group performances…I’ve come up with a number of reasons why I think this show might not be around for much longer. Read on and then join our forum to let us know what you think! Make your voice heard!

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Adam Lambert Sighting!

We have done our research, and are 95% sure we had ourselves an Adam Lambert sighting at Starbucks in Malibu Ca.  Note the black nail polish, sunglasses, pompadour hairdo, earrings and the purple in the hair (as seen on AI this last week).  What you are unable to note is the height and voice, however…

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Reality Gets Naked

Kara DioGuardi has decided to join Chelsea Handler and Top Chef host Padma Lakshmi to model her birthday suit in the “Nude” Issue of Allure Magazine that hits newsstands Tuesday. While Padma talks of her preference to sleep in the nude, Kara tells us about her own bouts with eating disorders saying that she doesn’t use food to numb herself anymore. Kara also goes on to tout where she was a size 6 back in those dark days now she’s a comfortable size 2.

Click “Continue reading”  to see the pics… then come talk about it in the forum!

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The Amazing Race: 5 Teams left…Any truly deserving?

Here at the Yak, we love our “reality.” Well, not our own little reality because sometimes that gets crazy, but “reality” TV nonetheless. As real as it can be. Voting people off islands, walking down a runway, living in a house, giving people flowers, singing, dancing, and world travelling. Sounds like the start to a bad book. Even so, we get entertained.

the-amazing-raceTonight, we get closer to the end of another race around the world. We have 5 teams left. Only one will cross the finish line. Who’s left? Click on to see what this Yakkster thinks about each team and why they deserve/don’t deserve to win! Then join us in our forum to let us know what you think!

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Crystal Bowersox – Original tunes

More and more on the internets, I am finding that Crystal already has several original songs written by none other than herself.  It would be nice if these songs were already for sale, or an album to be had!  Alas, they are not yet available, but hopefully, in the near future, they will be.

This Yakster (and many others in the forum) are big fans of hers.  She is a “modern” throwback if you will, with the soul to sing songs from the likes of Janis Joplin to Melissa Etheridge, Bonnie Raitt to Alanis Morrisette.  I wouldn’t mind hearing her belt out a meaningful Pink ballad as well.  She is current, and quite frankly, too good for the AI amateur stage.  Don’t get me wrong, I am so glad she found her way there, and I really hope she can use this experience and platform to push her up to the stardom she so rightly deserves.  I am truly jealous of those who had the honor of hearing her play on the street.  She fills the gap for the young acoustic hippie that this tree hugger was definitely missing.  She is looking to have her guitar signed by powerful women, and I’m most confident that she should be signing it herself as well.

This coming week, Adam Lambert is the mentor on the show.  Now I know, there are MANY Lambert fans out there, (of which I am not one…sorry) but I gotta say, huh?  How is he even remotely qualified to be a mentor?  He has not even been off the show a full year, isn’t that widely successful (yet) and didn’t even win… So I really don’t get it.  This should be interesting, especially for an artist like Crystal.  What advice could he possibly have for her?  I guess we will see??  Just weird.  I will say I am very happy that Crystal continues to do her own thing.  She already knows who she is, the artist she is, and needs to change nothing.  Kara has from the start given her the wrong advice. Hopefully she continues to listen to herself, and even Simon Cowell has agreed.

Here is another treat, an original by Crystal called “Mama” – A big thanks to the Crystal Bowersox Blog who posts all these gems from her.  Would love to know if we will ever be able to get our hands on these songs.  I would really like to put them on my ipod to take with me on my drives and chill time!  Give it a listen, then come join us in the forum to let us know what you think!

Oh and… let’s throw some votes over to Big Mike this week as well peeps!  This wonderful positive soul should NOT be leaving this show this early!

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American Idol’s Top 12 … Do we have a season?

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Thursday night we were revealed with this season’s Top 12 contestants to compete week after week for America to win the title of the next American Idol. With names like Carrie Underwood, Kelly Clarkson, David Cook, Kris Allen, and Chris Daughtry in the mix (Daughtry not actually winning the show), expectations should be set high – even if we have had a few flubs here and there. So … what does season 9 bring us? A flood of singer-songwriters. I personally think Idol flubbed big time by tipping the scale so heavily to that genre. Love the genre, but it’s tough to have a competition when only one or two might already have it in the bag. Who has a clear shot? Who could be the underdog? Who’s easy on the eyes? And what about the judges this season….click on below to see what some of us here at the Yak think and get my prediction on the Top 4. Check out our Idol Top 12 thread, vote in our Winner Prediction thread and join us here for everything Idol!

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American Idol 2010

Well, American Idol 2010 is off to a, well, start.  So far I really haven’t been all that impressed with this years crop, minus a few.  (Which I have a feeling not many have, seeing as we haven’t posted much about it on the front page.)  I do like “Big Mike” Lynche, Lilly Scott, Lee…

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67th Annual Golden Globes Awards

The 67th Annual Golden Globes Awards air LIVE tonight 8PM EST/5PM PST on NBC. Don’t miss all the action, comments, and up-to-the-minute award updates right here at the Yak! Come join us in our discussion thread during the show and tell us what you think about the winners, losers, presenters, and more! Check the Yak’s front page and our discussion thread as we update the categories as the awards are handed out! See you on the Red Carpet!

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