Survivor Recap: Pulled Pork

Well Survivor fans I am still recuperating from the most disgusting (and I mean disgusting!) Survivor challenge ever. More on that later.

Brandon Hantz mouths off about Mikayla being “classless” due to her comments at the previous tribal council regarding Brandon being a “Hantz.” More tears, more unbalanced mumblings from Brandon. Shall we move on?

Redemption Island Duel:

Whitney and Dawn represent Savaii while Albert and Mikayla observe for Upolu. Christine and Stacey enter the arena. Stacey, the mortician, decides to tell all the spectators that Benjamin (Coach) is running the Upolu tribe and that Albert is his right hand puppet. This gives information, whether correct or not, to Whitney and Dawn to bring back to Savaii camp. Stacey goes on her tirade regarding her lying, back-stabbing tribemates for quite some time and frankly it was difficult to understand all of what she was saying. She has a great eye roll though!! She refuses to call Coach anything but Benjamin. Jeff points this out, because she does not respect him as a coach. On to the challenge. The survivors must each put balls into a machine. The balls spiral down and come out either side. The players must then catch the balls and put them back into the machine. At timed intervals they must add another ball to the rotation. If a ball touches the ground, you are out. Christine and Stacey each do well with 1 ball each, then another ball is added and they have little or no difficulty. When the third ball is added after several turns Stacey drops a ball and is out of the game. Christine has won again! Stacey burns her buff in the fire and exits the arena. Albert is not happy to go back to Upolu and tell Coach what Stacey said at the challenge. He knows Coach will be pissed because it will put a target on Coach and Albert’s back at the merge point.

Back at camp Albert and Mikayla tell Coach what happened at the Redemption Island duel. Coach is very upset and says “Can this day get any better?”. Albert decides it’s important to look for the individual immunity idol at their camp. He finds clue #2. He decides to trust only Coach and Sophie with this information. They all three look for the idol. Coach finds the idol up a tree on the beach. He shows Sophie and Albert the idol and is extremely happy that he’s found it. (Albert this is not a team sport! What were you thinking?) We shall see how this plays out.

Back at Savaii Jim is still hot on getting rid of Elyse. He wants to weaken Ozzy’s position. Ozzy, Keith and Cochran go out to fish. Ozzy catches 11 fish for his tribemates. Cochran sits in the boat (this is about as useful as he gets). Cochran feeling full of himself and fueled by Jim and Dawn’s agreement to keep him and get rid of Elyse gives an interview where he says that Ozzy was once a “Mogli-esque” figure on Survivor and is now a middle-aged man who catches fish occasionally. I just must interject here. Ozzy is 30 years old and Cochran is 24 years old. If 30 is “middle-aged” heaven help us!! The jealousy spewing from Cochrane for Ozzy is pathetic at best. Ozzy’s looks, physical ability, knowledge of survival, etc. are so beyond the realm of Cochran’s abilities it’s laughable. But that’s not really what this game is about. It’s outwit, ouplay, outsmart.

Immunity Challenge:

Ok, I’m going to try and describe this, however my stomach is still churning and I might have to leave unexpectedly…..Both tribes are given a pig on a spit. The object of the challenge is for all tribe members to bite into the pig and rip off meat with their mouths and spit the meat into their tribes basket. All this must be done with their hands tied behind their backs! One, two, three go! They’re off. For the next ten minutes we get to watch people gnawing on a roasted pig, tearing and pulling the meat off and then spitting it into their baskets. Many of the survivors got pig meat stuck in their teeth which then had to be pulled out by another tribemates teeth. Oh, be right back……..OK I’m back. Sorry but as a mother all I could think about was the disgusting spit swapping and all the spit that was going into the basket. The photographers made it a point to show us as much graphic footage as possible!. In the end, Savaii pulled 22 pounds 12 oz. of meat. Upolu pulled 22 pounds 14 oz. of meat. Upolu wins by one mouthful of meat! Upolu also wins another clue to their immunity idol. (Coach already has that idol unbeknownst to everyone on the tribe except for Albert and Sophie) and an array of spices, oils, vetables, french bread, etc. Oh, and one more thing. Jeff announces at the end of the challenge that in addition to their rewards they also win all the meat they pulled from their pig. Wash off the spit and eat it, oh yeah! My god I am sick just writing this, sorry.

Back at Upolu camp, Brandon who was taught Cajun cooking by his family, whips up a feast for his tribemates who eat vegetables, bread, pig and spit. It’s a good day at Upolu!

Savaii doesn’t fair as well and they go back to camp with all kinds of injuries. Dawn lost a half a molar. Ozzy’s jaw is dislocated. The other tribe members have chipped teeth and cuts on their gums. Cochrane of course feels his teeth shifting as he hasn’t been wearing his retainer and headgear. (surprise!).
Cochrane decides to mention to the group that now they probably got herpes from one another. Thanks Cochrane!! Who has herpes they ask? He says didn’t you ever get a cold sore, that’s herpes. When they say no, do you get cold sores? he backtracks and says, “well I’ll probably get them from you now.” Just when your day couldn’t get any better here’s Cochran to the rescue, herpes and all.

Jim decides to approach Keith about voting out Elyse and weakening Ozzy. Keith readily agrees. Let’s refresh here for a moment. Keith and Ozzy were the first alliance at Savaii. Keith however immediately outed Ozzy to Whitney when Ozzy found the idol. Keith cannot be trusted. Keith and Whitney discuss their options. They want to find a way that they can get Elyse out and maintain Ozzy’s trust. Good luck with that you two, don’t think that’s going to happen.

Tribal Council:

At tribal council Jeff P. concentrates on Cochran and Elyse. Cochran is becoming quite cocky and tells Jeff he certainly doesn’t want to see his name go down tonight. Jeff probes (ha get it?) the tribe members about Cochran’s social graces or lack of them. He wants to know if he’s endearing or annoying. Well I vote for annoying but I’m not on survivor so I digress….. Ultimately everyone is trying to be nice and assure Jeff that although Cochrane is basically useless and has many idiosyncrasies he’s kind of endearing. It’s time to vote.

Dawn, Cochrane and Jim vote for Elyse. Ozzy votes for Cochran. Keith and Whitney decide to vote for Dawn. Elyse is sent to Redemption Island. She and Ozzie are both blindsided.

Can Elyse beat Christine at a Redemption island duel? Do Keith and Whitney really think Ozzy can’t see through their vote? Is Cochran now the leader of the tribe?

Until next week, the tribe has spoken.