Survivor: Redemption Island – “Stealth R Us?”

Miss Survivor this week? Wanna know who won the Redemption Island Challenge, and who is next to be sent off? Here is your recap!

Krista arrives at redemption island only to find Matt in his usual sleeping position with his buff over his face huddled in his lean to. The two are initially happy to see each other (Matt’s lonely out there!) until Matt determines that Krista is tough competition and he’ll have to beat her at the challenge. Krista receives her one luxury item at Redemption Island which is her bible. What? The Lord really does care who wins survivor? Matt is thrilled as he and Krista bond over their strong Christian faith. They decide that it is God’s will who the winner of this challenge will be. Andrea and Natalie arrive from Ometepe and Julie and David? (can’t remember) from Lapatera to watch the challenge. Andrea is looking pretty cutesy with her hair freshly braided as she flashes a flirty smile at Matt.

Redemption Island Challenge:

The challenge involves grabbing 3 bags with grappling hooks. Once the bags are retrieved use one ball from the bags to place inside the maze and get the ball to the net hole at the end of the maze. That person is safe and remains in the game and the other person is out of the game with no chance of redemption. Mark Burnett can you please stop reusing old challenges for redemption island? How many times will I have to watch grappling hooks and ball mazes? With an early lead Krista looks like she’s going for the win… but wait! God has changed his mind! Matt again wins the redemption island challenge for the 4th time in a row! His reward? Go back to redemption island and wait for your next opponent. Jeff asks Krista how she feels and she gets a tad teary eyed. Her dream of winning Survivor is over. She asks Jeff if she can give Matt something. To Andrea’s horror, Krista pulls out her bible and gives it to Matt. Matt is so grateful for her sacrifice and the gift of the bible he hugs her, and hugs her again, and again. Andrea’s face falls fast as she soon realizes that although she had a connection with Matt it appears he has an even closer one with Krista. Andrea states in her interview that she can now see she thought she had something with Matt, but it might be best if he didn’t return to the games because he is dangerous competition. It’s obvious she feels like a fool now.

Back at Lapatera, Sarita has a toothache. Apparently she cleaned her teeth with a stick (Survivor style) and thinks bacteria got under her gums. She’s obviously in some pain and just touches her face constantly asking if it is swollen. (Production can we get some amoxycillin please?) Her tribe members start talking about how she does nothing at camp and is a whiner extraordinaire.

Steve on the other hand has the gaul to ask Stephanie why she and Krista voted for him at the last tribal council! Not a smart move he tells Stephanie. Well it’s like this Steve, we had to vote someone out and I wasn’t going to write down my own name or that of my best friend so TAG you’re it! Seriously what is that man thinking? She nicely told him that although he thinks that he can bring it, he may not have it to bring anymore. OUCH! He’s ex NFL and his ego was badly gouged. She talks to David who thinks she is a stronger player than Sarita and David tells her to work the tribe to stay in the game. Stephanie eats crow and goes to Steve and apologizes for writing his name down last week at tribal. He accepts her apology. Julie thinks Stephanie is stronger but Sarita is more loyal. We don’t know what Ralph thinks because no one can understand a word he says. Mike is undecided.

Ometepe tribe is having some drama of their own. Ashley and Natalie are the beauty queens. Ashly decides to clip Natalie’s underarm hair with the scissors, leg hair, etc. Not enticing to watch. Girls seriously! (Why are their scissors on Survivor?! You might as well give them a razor, some hair color and some body wash, mouthwash, etc.!) So the girls are laying on their beach blanket while the guys lounge in the lounge chairs. Phillip on the other hand is hard at work tending the fire. He complains on camera that the girls are lazy beauty queens and he does all the work. He decides to have his say and gives his father speech to the girls to get off their lazy asses and do some work around camp. The girls are bugged by Phillip who even insists on following them and harping at them when they turn away from him. Rob’s interview is hysterical. He loves that the girls do nothing because who is going to award them a million dollars at the end for doing nothing? (Remember your wife Amber Rob?) He states that he has to play Arafat and mediate the situation. He pulls Phillip aside and tells him to go easy because they need the team strong and united for the challenges.

The Challenge:

Each team has two throwers and four catchers. The throwers must shoot a large ball in a giant slingshot over to the catchers who have what appears to be fishing nets. Whoever catches 5 balls in their nets first wins. Ball 1 Grant catches for Ometepe, Ball 2 Grant, Ball 3 Grant. At this point Mike the marine is desparately trying to intercept Grant (my favorite hottie ex-NFL guy) and rips his shirt off his body like a teeny bopper after Justin Bieber! Rob catches ball 4 and Grant completes the shut out and catches ball 5 for Ometepe. Ometepe wins immunity and reward! (I sound just like Jeff now.)

Ometepe goes to their reward which is a sumptuous meal on the top of a beautiful mount, complete with the second tallest statue of Jesus in the world, overlooking a breathtaking bay. (Sorry Matt and Krista you missed out on that one). Nicaragua looks beautiful if we could get rid of all the shots of the heinous hairy tarantulas that the film crew is obsessed with. (Is that just one tarantula they keep filming over and over or are there buckets of them?) then again is it just Ralph’s back?

I digress. Of course as in any reward there is a hidden immunity idol clue! Rob sees it instantly under the bowl of lobster tails (YUMMMMM) and thinks he should not take it because it’s too suspicious. He already has the idol anyway so why would he need the clue? Grant sees and grabs the clue and gives it to Rob under the table. They sneak away to “look at the view” and read the clue to the immunity idol. Rob’s acting is superior because Grant has no idea Rob already has the idol. Well looky who we have here, it’s Phillip the red-headed stepchild who no one appreciates! He sees Rob and Grant reading the immunity idol clue and says, caught ya, what does it say? Rob tells him it says the idols back at camp and they let him read the clue.

Phillips interview at this point is just classic. It made my night. He states that he is supposed to be in an alliance with Rob and Grant that he calls “Stealth R US” (really Phillip? Really?) He is fully aware that Rob and Grant were excluding him from the finding of the clue and he says: “I served my country for 4 years, 11 months, and 13 days. Duty, honor and country: those words mean something to me and when you try to trash that — me and the United States got something for you when you try that one, baby.”

Phillip, what does that have to do with the price of tea in China?

He is so out there, it’s quite entertaining. You better watch out Rob and Grant! The lion/gorilla in the pink baggy undies has your number and he is out to get even!

Zapatera arrives at tribal council. Stephanie makes a great case for herself and puts Sarita under the gun. Sarita feels like crap due to her toothache and does as much standing up for herself as she can muster. David fights to keep Stephanie. In the end the tribe goes with loyalty and sends Stephanie to Redemption Island.

How will this play out? She’s a tough competitor. Will Matt hold onto his winning streak? Will Krista’s bible give him strength? Until next week…