Internet Friendships…

I’ve had my fair share of friends I’ve met over the internet… most have come and gone, but some are closer to me than friends I may see everyday. And really, I’ve only had one standout bad experience… and still today it lingers.

With the Manti Te’o scandal, the college football player from Notre Dame that had some kind of internet relationship with a girl who may or may not have had cancer & also at some point was to have died, but later was discovered she was alive (sounds too much like a Jerry Springer episode to me!!)…. I really don’t know the full story well, but when this story hit, it really made me think about things.

Until the summer of 2011, most of my internet friendships were nothing more than friending someone on Facebook (or prior to that, MySpace) to gain neighbors or friends for some sort of online game I was playing, like FarmVille or the variety. I never really talked to them or got to know them at all, they just sent me stuff for my farm, or a extra life some other game I may have been addicted to at the time, but other than that, they were just a face on my wall… I actually still have a select few who I’ve decided to keep around, even though I really don’t know them well, but they post interesting things & feel they add to my life in one way or another.

But my love for reality has broadened my horizons & have found some more lasting friendships who I have more in common with, like the forum at (what I call) The Yak. There are others, who shall not be named, but similar in format to what we see at The Yak.

I have found some of the most unlikely friendships. For most of these friends I’ve found I know without a shadow of doubt they are true friends, and know they add value to me and my life. Some I would even consider best friends, and know me more better than I know myself. It so much easier to be myself with them, partly because I think being behind a computer screen and not face-to-face makes it easier to be more brave and/or vulnerable, to show the sides you might hide from people you have direct contact with… seeing someones face and/or reaction when you disappoint or not live up to expectations is sometimes the worst to overcome.

And this is where my reason for writing this comes in. One friendship in particular has had me so confused with myself and it still lingers. Why?? This is someone who I stuck up for when no one else did, believed in and never gave up… yet whenever I let myself think about the situation or this person is involved in, I feel so bitter… and I still can’t put my finger on the exact reason why I can’t just let go. This person no longer matters to me, or maybe I’m just trying to convince myself that I don’t care… I think it’s obvious I do care, but why or why should I?? Uhhhgggg… I hate it! Whenever I try to deal with it and why I feel this way, I usually end up in tears… and no answers.

I tried to tell myself that I need to back away from meeting friends online, or at least not letting myself get attached… and it was once pointed out to me that I have unrealistic expectations when it comes to my (online) friendships, and I do believe this is true. The person that told me this is someone I talk to everyday without fail, yet I’ve never met in person… but feel like I’ve known my whole life. I think the friends I’ve made online have spoiled me, so maybe I can just blame them for my unrealistic expectations! HA!!

Truth is, I really want to let go… but haven’t figured out the magic potion to release me from whatever it is that’s holding on?? I value each and every friendship I have, because I spent some of my early childhood without friends (which I might touch on sometime in the future), and I NEVER want to feel that alone again. So part of letting go of this person goes against the grain of what I believe, yet dealing with the bitterness I feel isn’t doing me much good either, sigh…. In closing, I’m still as confused as I ever was but writing always helps clear my mind!!!! Bottomline, I love the friends I’ve made online, so I don’t think this will stop me from making more, but it will make me more leary on how much I put into someone I really don’t know. The ones I’ve made definitely outweigh this one bad experience.

Finally Blogging! New Year Resolutions: Social Media Clean Up, The HCG Diet!

new-years-eveIt’s time once again to welcome in the New Year and say goodbye to the old. Some of us are very happy to see this last one go and look forward to what the New Year will bring, while others aren’t so optimistic. I happen to be in the first group, therefore, have decided to start this blog off with my New Year Resolutions. This, of course, is after I sprinkle the Kosher Salt in front of all the entries to my home, make my New Year wishes while lighting candles and make sure a tall dark handsome male will be the first through my front door. (I will get my son to do that job!) If there is New Year Voodoo I’m missing here, do let me know below!

My first resolution? Blog.

Yes, The Yak has had this blog for quite some time now. (As you can see from the first post, since 2011!) We set it up, got it all ready to go, then just left it here with test posts waiting for a miracle to happen I guess. Well, that didn’t happen. I guess blogging actually takes someone sitting down and writing down their thoughts… Who knew? So from this day forward, us Yaksters have decided to blog. Hopefully it’s entertaining, informative, emotionally inducing in one way or the other and well, read by someone out there. We are also hoping to get some guests bloggers every now and again that you may enjoy, so stay tuned!

My second resolution, clean up my social media.

socialmediacleanupWhat I mean by that is to dispel the negativity in my life, beginning with social media. This past year I have seen my Facebook feed go WAY downhill. Between the elections and political posts, Newtown and Gun arguments, etc. going onto Facebook is just not so much fun anymore. I have actually had to “hide” friends feeds from showing up in my timeline. So I asked myself, why have “friends” that you have to hide? If I have absolutely (apparently) nothing in common with them, from politics to religion to even daily thoughts, why are they a friend to begin with? People have asked me “What about Family that you don’t agree with?” Well, I will probably still keep family (but hide their posts for the most part) but those are blood related to me, I can’t do anything about that. However, I can do something about people I have never really met in real life, or old High School buddies that just aren’t compatible with me anymore. I’m just tired of seeing post after post of fear, negativity, and quite frankly, false crap from places like “YourMamasBasement.com” posing as the latest news source. Anyone can make a site that looks real “newsy” and call it something like “The U.S. Herald” or some such thing, then post conspiracy after conspiracy. I am appalled by just how many people believe these things, then share them all over Facebook, Twitter and the like. No one has the time of day to constantly fact check them, then argue all day about it. (Heck, I even had one person tell me, when I decided to post on one of their posts, that “How dare I post on things they post on their Facebook Status!” I kinda thought that was what sharing was all about, but ummm, ok?) People are going to believe what fits their agenda unfortunately, and I say, let them. To each their own. If that’s how they wish to spend their days and make everyone who is “friends” with them spend their days, then more power to them. That doesn’t mean though that I need to read this negativity constantly streaming through my feed, hide people, or walk on eggshells every time I post. They can all have fun (or fear and negativity) on their own. I am going to consciously choose not to participate. Maybe, just maybe, if we all did this who are sick of it, they would get the hint?

My third resolution – Diet

hcg-diet-recipesHere we go again. Another year, another diet. I have done them all. Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, Atkins etc.. The latter was always my go to. See, I was diagnosed with Hypothyroid in 2010. How long I had this problem I have no idea. I had the symptoms of it for, well, as long as I can remember. You name the problem, I pretty much had it. I somehow managed to not let myself get too high up there on the scale, mainly because of eating low carb for the most of the last decade, but always that chubbiness I could never get rid of, along with the sluggishness and aches/pains that go along with it.

This last year, towards the end of the year, I discovered the HCG Diet. This has changed everything. I did one round so far, before the holidays, and lost 25 pounds. Course then the holidays rolled up and I didn’t diet at all… So yeah, I got a little of that back. That’s ok though, I expected that. I mean, kinda like the blog doesn’t write itself, eating the Thanksgiving and Christmas goodies and still losing weight would take a miracle. Alas, my next round of the HCG Diet is coming up. I am due to start somewhere at the beginning of January and will be sure to blog about it. Anyone not familiar with this diet, stay tuned, I will provide info and links on the what and how. If you really want to know somewhat about it right this minute, you can read “Pounds and Inches” by Dr. Simeons. You can get the book for FREE online here: dr-simeons-manuscript. If you are looking for more info after reading that, you can also leave a comment below or come on into the Yak’s Forum HERE and post, or send a private message to me there, (TheKdd). I would be more than happy to help get you started.

Now the HCG Diet is not for everyone, you will read about that in the book. Also, though, it takes some heavy duty devotion to the diet. Thing is, the way I got through it, it’s only 24-42 days. (You choose the length based on how much you have to lose.) So I thought… heck, what’s a month out of my life? So devoted I was, to the letter… and devoted I will be again. You go through phases and rounds of the diet, as you will read. I have done one longer round and plan on doing two more shorter ones. That should get me where I want to be. Anyone else going on this journey, or any diet journey for that matter, leave a comment! We can do this together!

Resolution Number Four: Walk the Dogs

dog-walkingI really hate putting resolutions on paper (or a Blog) for all to see, mainly because at the end of 2013, I will have to look back at this and see what I didn’t follow through on. Hopefully this isn’t one of them. I do walk my dogs, sometimes, or get my kids to do it… but I know they want more time with me, and it’s healthy, so why am I not doing it? I could say because I’m blogging, but we all know that isn’t true. How about because I’m tired. Yeah that’s it. I’m tired. No? Too busy? Ugh. Fine. I will walk the dogs more. I know they will love that.

Resolution Number Five: Follow Through with Resolutions

NYRchart Ok well this one is a given. I think everyone needs to have this resolution. Every year we say we are going to do this or that or what not just to repeat it again for the next year. I have even read about people who think resolutions are stupid and to just not make them. Forget those people… negative nellies. Yes, not following through can disappoint but not making them so you don’t disappoint? So let’s not try and better ourselves so we don’t disappoint. That doesn’t even make sense. So yeah, FOLLOW THROUGH.

NYRchart2

Now of course there are a few more resolutions I haven’t covered here but I think I got the main ones up top. What are your resolutions? Post them below so we can all follow along (and there is a record of it. Muahahahaha.) No going back once it’s in print!