Anti-Bullying Week: When Teachers Bully


I don’t think there is anything worse than when a teacher, a person that is supposed to be a role-model, a person who is supposed to be a safe place to run to for help, are the bullies themselves.

I, actually, had the unfortunate experience in dealing with one such teacher when my son was in 6th grade. You know, the time when kids are going through one of their most vulnerable stages, puberty. A time when they are learning about themselves, who they are and who they wish to become. My son was new in the school, a very small school, with only one class per grade. The children there already had built their relationships with others, so it was already hard for him to try and fit in. Well, along comes the teacher to show the other kids how they should treat him.

I couldn’t believe it. The stories he came home and told me… the things she would say to him… the things other parents overheard her saying to him as they walked by… and the coverup and accusations the school tried to throw back at my son. It was an extremely trying time as I’m sure you can imagine.

He had forgotten to bring in a paper once and she would lash out at him, telling him she doesn’t “want to see his face” and make him sit in the hall. It was constant. According to other parents, they told me she was notorious for it and always had one or two students in her class she would lash out at every year. What I didn’t understand was why no other parents were in an uproar over this? A child in 7th grade, his parent once told me, actually had to see a therapist because he was literally pulling his hair out with stress. She told me not to worry, that it “gets better in 7th grade.” Wait, what? That’s it? It just get’s better in 7th grade? So I should just tell me son to deal with it, it gets better in 7th grade? SHE’S A TEACHER!

It all came to a head at one point, with the school telling me my son was a liar, putting in the school bulletin a warning to parents not to “gossip” at drop off and pick-up. He even got suspended for 10 days because of my complaints. No wait, the school didn’t call it that. The school put him on “leave” until the teacher was ready to “look at him again.”

We got through it all eventually, the teacher was eventually let go, but not for a couple of years. The Principal also “retired” the same year. Why any child should have to go through that from someone that is supposed to protect them is beyond me. Unfortunately, it happens all the time. A recent story on MSNBC (Video below) shows a Special Needs student being bullied by her Teachers. Why become a teacher if you don’t care for kids? There are no words. Do NOT stand idly by if you see or know of this happening, like the parents at my son’s school who made us fight this battle alone. There is a child that needs your help. Next year, it could be your child and you fighting it alone.

Anti-Bully Week: My Personal Story

As you know, It’s anti-bully week and we here at YakkityYaks that have stories to tell are letting them rip! Along with Big Brother 13’s Shelly Moore, we here at The Yak are taking a headstrong stand against bullying and the life torment it creates. (Be sure to follow Shelly on Twitter HERE and follow us HERE.) It’s a hard, hard road on the other side of the bullying, and it’s time for those of us that have had this experience speak out and unite! We are NOT alone, and it does get better. Yes, the actions of others seem to stick with you forever, as you will learn with my own personal story below, but they don’t have to rule your life. You can overcome it, you can grow from it, and hey just maybe, we can make friends out of it. I think Shelly put it best when she compared the bullied to a piece of crumpled up paper. No matter how hard you try to straighten it out, even put a heavy book on it for years, the creases will never go away. It does “take a village” to protect our youth, and I for one am happy to be a part of that village. So, without further adieu, here is the story that I have, that since I was a kid, liked to always keep to myself… But today, for you, I will lay it all out there. Scary, but here we go.

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When I was a young, about 4th grade, I was transferred into a private school because of busing. The school district where I lived wanted to take me out of my local public school which was just right around the corner and transfer me to a school miles away. To combat that, my mother moved me to a local private school.

I was the new kid in a school where everyone had already grown up best friends. It was hard to adjust. I was also the kid that got into the private school because my dad did some construction work for them in exchange for part of my schooling there. The other kids, many of them, had parents that were loaded. Yep, the ‘ol rich kid/poor kid cliche. Well, I wouldn’t call us poor by any means, but by these kids standards, yeah, we were “without.” There were no uniforms at the school, so between me being the new kid and not wearing the designer outfits and shoes that most of the kids there had, I was pretty doomed socially from the start. I attended this school through the 8th grade.

I eventually made a few friends, not many, but the friends I did have were great ones. We met at what the majority of the students called “The Loser Table”… you know, where the “losers” sat to eat lunch. We were the misfits and at the very least, had others to share our woes with and boy, there were woes to be had.

All of us were taunted daily. Kids said the most ridiculous and mean things. I was chosen last for any games at P.E. even though I was pretty athletic and better at the games than most kids. In the changing room before P.E. they would make fun of me, my clothes, anything they could think of. I remember once being told that my bra was too high on my back… and they all would laugh. (So much for ever changing in the locker room again.) They used me to be mean to other people, singing that stupid K-I-S-S-I-N-G song if I would speak to a boy, only to have the boy get angry. (That felt great.) They called me a lesbian since I only hung out with my “loser” girlfriends. It was constant ridicule. I couldn’t even imagine how that would have felt if I actually were Gay and how kids today that are must feel.

When I would get invited back then to someone’s b-day party who wasn’t a part of the “loser table”, I would always believe it was sinister in some way. That maybe they wanted me to come just to be the entertainment. To poke fun at me. That never happened at the few I did go to, but now that I’m older, I realize I was invited probably because a parent made them invite everyone. Who knows. The ridicule made me paranoid of everyone’s motives.

High School changed EVERYTHING. I transferred to my local public High School where there were a lot more kids, kids that didn’t know me. I was a very, very pretty girl and had a lot of the boys attention. A LOT. The girls that tortured me daily were there, but at that point, they didn’t bother with me too much. Heck, I was getting more of the boys attention then they were at that point. I think they were actually a little jealous. That felt nice.

However, I wasn’t prepared for the attention I did get, and didn’t know what to do with it. For me, a girl with very low self-esteem at that point, attention was great. The problem became understanding that attention and what to do with it. Let’s just say, for a time, I had a hard time saying the word “no”, even when I wanted to. The one time I did actually say no, it didn’t matter, it wasn’t heard… or was heard and ignored, if you know what I mean. I won’t get into that here, but I’m guessing most will read between the lines on that one.

I did earn a nickname as a “tease” (which is better than some other nicknames that could have transpired, like slut or prude for instance.) I embraced the nickname. Damn right I was a tease! Now that I look back on it all, a tease keeps those boys on their toes now doesn’t it? You aren’t a prude, so they think they have a shot, but you aren’t a slut so they know they will have to put in some hard work to get it LOL! Looking back, I’m not real sure if that thought process was a good one or bad, but it did get me through it all.

The ridicule gave me self-doubt that followed me through-out my life, you know, the “creases in the paper” as mentioned above. Although I am much, much better today, a lot stronger, and a lot less caring of what others think, it still haunts me. There are days I still feel just not up to snuff. I don’t have many friends, mainly because I don’t let too many close. I like to call it self-preservation. However the friends I do have are great ones. I have encapsulated myself in my little world. There is safety within these walls, or is there? Yes, bullying affected me to my core and although the bullies are gone, I have carried their ridiculous words in my soul. It really sucks.

Needless to say, now that I am older and look back on all of it, it was a very hard time. I see pictures of myself back then and realize just how pretty I really was. (That sounds stuck up, doesn’t it?) Too bad I realized that a bit late. Self-esteem issues have plagued me all my life since then. It’s hard to let go of those, REALLY hard. You never really feel whole. There are times, even now, that I fall back into that hole and it doesn’t take much.

I learned a lot though. I try and treat others the way I would like to be treated. You know, what Grandma always said. I also overcame the “no” syndrome, able to not let people just walk all over me in the pursuit of acceptance. I have learned that what general “people” say really doesn’t matter. People that are strangers to me can think what they want. It’s their energy they are wasting. I have learned that It actually does get better. People who say that are right. It may not feel like it, but it truly does.

These people, these school mates, these assholes (for lack of a better (or worse) term) just don’t matter in the scheme of things. They are forced into your life now, but will be gone in a flash. I know, in this day and age, it’s hard. See, when I was a kid, home was my safe place, my sanctuary. Now, with Social Media, (Facebook, Twitter, etc.) the bullying can continue after school, on weekends, into the night… It’s hard to escape from. But again, those people will be gone in a FLASH. It seems like forever now, but it’s just a small snippet of your life. You CAN get through it. For all the rotten kids that talk smack, there are many, many more that you haven’t met yet that will be lost without you here. Plus, there are MILLIONS out there to talk to, have gone through it and can help. Hey, you always have a safe place to talk here at YakkityYaks. In fact, we are currently developing a place here just for that purpose, so stay tuned!

…And… let’s all hope Karma nails these jerky bullies to the wall. Yeah, I said it.

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If you too have a story you would like to share, you can contact us at JDMontgomery@yakkityyaks.com or webmaster@yakkityyaks.com. We would gladly get yours up here to share with everyone. We would also happily remove your name from the story if you would like. Just let us know in the e-mail. Also, you can come join us in the Forum HERE where we are all discussing Anti-Bully week!

Mel Gibson Returns, the New Comeback Kid?

Mel Gibson, Jaime Fox and Garry Shandling got together for a little brainstorming recently on how best to pay tribute to Robert Downey Jr. for his upcoming award at American Cinematique and below is how it went. Quite frankly, as much trouble Mel Gibson has found himself in lately, I loved this, and love a come back story. Heck, Robert Downey Jr. is a come back story all his own, so it all seems very appropriate. Hopefully, for me, Mr. Gibson has just found himself on the path up. Plus, you can’t go wrong with Jaime and Garry at your side! So, take a look below and tell us what you think!

Yak Exclusive: Big Brother’s Adam Poch Speaks Up Against Bullying

In accordance with our initiative this week, Big Brother 13’s Adam Poch took some time to send us his thoughts, exclusively to the Yak, regarding bullying and the Anti-Bullying movement. Adam really doesn’t need an introduction. Fans remember him as the heavy metal teddy bear who took control of our TVs and computer screens on Big Brother this past summer.

We would like to personally thank Adam for stepping up and saying a few words about this important movement. In an effort to join forces and increase awareness, we encourage you to share these stories with your friends and family and encourage continuous efforts to make a difference! We all are capable and we just hope that this motivates and encourages each and every one of us to take a stand and put a stop to bullying once and for all. YakkityYaks, don’t talk smack!

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Adam Poch, 39, Hoboken, NJI think the reason I got cast on Big Brother this past summer was because I am truly a unique individual. Not too many 40 year old heavy metal fans would admit to loving Beverly Hills 90210 and Appletinis. Being unique is not something that is new to me. Growing up I was always a little different and I grew up in a family where being yourself was encouraged. There were kids that used to tease me because of the way I dressed or acted – but luckily for me, I was confident in myself and would not let them get under my skin.

Sadly – there are a lot of kids that are not as confident in themselves and are easy targets for bullies. They are afraid to speak out against these bullies, for fear of what would happen to them. Even worse – they are afraid to be themselves and spread their wings and embrace their uniqueness. By allowing this to continue – we may be holding back the next great musician, the next great artist, or even the next Reality TV show winner.

By raising awareness – I know we will not be able to stop people from bullying others, but hopefully we can help those being bullied stand up to these bullies and show them they are just wasting their time and energy. Don’t let them bring you down to their level. Keep your head raised high – and be yourself. Parents should be talking to their children and let them know it is ok for them to be themselves & encourage your children to tell you if someone is bullying them.

Together we can make a difference!

– Big Brother 13’s Adam Poch

Anti-Bullying Week: “I never felt badly for doing those things …”

All this week, YakkityYaks will be joining with past and present Reality TV stars and fans just like you in honor of Anti-Bullying Week. We will be featuring stories from Reality TV personalities, members in our YakkityYaks forum, and fans from Twitter and Facebook. In an effort to join forces and increase awareness, we encourage you to share these stories with your friends and family and encourage continuous efforts to make a difference! We all are capable and we just hope that this motivates and encourages each and every one of us to take a stand and put a stop to bullying once and for all. YakkityYaks, don’t talk smack!

Read on below for two personal accounts from fans on Twitter who felt so moved to submit their own personal and touching stories, in addition to all of our other coverage today. Names have been changed to protect identities, but the stories are straight from the heart and unedited.

If you are interested in participating in our anti-bullying initiative by sharing your story, please contact JDMontgomery@yakkityyaks.com or ShellyBB13@me.com (Big Brother’s Shelly). Each and every story can bring about great change. Oh and get your tissues ready for this one …

We also want to announce an exciting addition to our special features this week. Everyone who submits a story will be eligible to win a phone call from a reality TV personality!

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A Life Transformed

First I just need to say that bullying back when I was a child is FAR different than the bullies today, but the hurt can still be the same. Also, I don’t know why I became a bully. It could have been a type of defense mechanism for what happened to me early in my life.

Here is my story:

Back in the early ’70s, when the Civil Rights Movement was going strong, my family and I were constantly bullied by our neighbors. Our house was vandalized. Walking home from school I got death threats and witnessed some man preparing a noose to hang my brother from. I was only 6 years old and feared for my and my family’s life.

We moved to a different neighborhood, but were still the minority in it. This time, however, I turned the tables. Although I was still in grade school, I didn’t call it a gang then; instead, it was a club. I think I was the president of it, although I can’t remember. I just know that I called most of the shots & threw people out of the group if I felt like it. Our club song was: “Tick-tock the game is locked. Nobody else can play with us. If they do, we’ll take their shoe and beat them ’til they’re black and blue.”

Still in grade school I would make fun of girls clothes and what they looked like; whatever it was that I didn’t like about them I would tell them about it. I even bullied my sister. Although to this day she forgave me, she didn’t forgive anyone else. I’d tell her she was adopted and that her breath stunk and that she was fat….again, anything that I didn’t like about her I told her about it.

Whenever my mom & dad fought, we were bullied by my mom. My mom hated my sister and me. She only liked our brothers. We got “skinnings” for the most trivial things. We got spoken to harshly, all because she didn’t always like us. Yes, parents bully their kids, too.

I never felt badly for doing those things to the other kids; after all, did those people who hated my skin color care what they did to me? Did they care how they made me feel? Did my own mom care? To this day, she doesn’t remember ANY of it. She tells people she was a good mom. “Look at how well my kids turned out.” I have tried to make her see and hear the things she did to us and she is in total denial.

I became a Born-Again Christian at 11 years old. There, I learned how to treat people. That’s when I became aware of the feelings of others and changed my ways. Anytime I saw a classmate getting picked on, I’d go over to them and keep them company. I’d tell a teacher, too, and the teacher would keep a lookout for any trouble. Like I said earlier, those days were different; mostly verbal and maybe knocking books out of someone’s hands, but nothing that the kids are going through nowadays.

A karate demonstration took place at the elementary school and then the instructor picked certain students to bully, to see how we would fight back. I got chosen to fight, and man, did I have the will and the drive to destroy that full-grown man! He had the nerve to push me to the floor? I was going to kill him! And I fought and found out how much anger I was storing up inside. He gave me a nice compliment, but I wasn’t to become a black belt until many years later.

Junior high was a brand new world. I got bullied by both boys and girls. They’d make fun of my hair and clothes. The same thing I did to the girls in grade school. The boys would grope me. In art class a boy took my artwork and threw it in the trash. I made the pom-pom squad and the girls told me I should have never made it; I only made it because I have a nice smile. I was called ugly.

One day one of the girl bullies was coming down the hallway towards me. My friend, George, came up behind me and scared me and I turned around and punched him square in the jaw! It wasn’t him I really wanted to punch; it was her. She saw me do it and her jaw hit the floor. I know she went and told the other bullies, because after that day, they never bothered me again. As for George, he never accepted my apology. Then he moved away.

High school was uneventful. Nothing serious there. Sports saved me.

In college I got bullied because I was black and hung out with my white friends in the quad. The black girls would yell stuff out of their dorm windows at me. I was called Uncle Tom and other racist names. I never had to do anything about those girls, because one by one, they got in trouble for something at the school and got expelled or dropped out.

By this time, I decided to take karate lessons. I’ve earned two black belts and one brown in all my years of training in different styles. I never made it a public thing to tell people, because they’d want to test me. It was on the down-low except for my immediate friends.

Once I made it to the working world, not much changed. Bullies, bullies everywhere. I became friends with a guy who was constantly bullied, then he had a crush on me; but I didn’t like him like that. I just didn’t like seeing him hurting from the actions of others. He did his best to stand up to them, too. Again, nothing physical happened, although nowadays people get killed.

Then I became the target from the same people who bullied him. Things were slammed onto my desk, they would talk about me so loudly that they wanted me to hear what they were saying, they were turning people against me who used to be my friends. No one came to my aid, but that’s okay, because if it really came down to having to physically protect myself, I could. I told my supervisor once, but they didn’t seem to take it all that seriously. A second time I told them, but this time I warned that if I snapped, it could get really bad. Soon after, the mastermind bully was let go. Once the serpant’s head was gone, the rest of the snake died; no one else bullied me.

I have seen strangers just arguing in a heated manner that could have escalated and I’d just approach, asking if everything is okay. Luckily, no one has ever gotten so angry at me and told me to mind my own business or turn their anger towards me.

I’m a part-time crossing guard and I look for signs from victims of bullies. I befriend the lonely kids. They can barely look at me, but I think they appreciate my kindness because the next time they see me, they smile. I don’t see them getting bullied walking to or from school, and I’m glad.

I have known a bully or two, and when I call them a bully, they deny it! I try to make them see and hear how they’re treating others, but it goes nowhere. They don’t get it. And I’m talking adult bullies!

I just can’t really stomach seeing people hurting people. All of these kids on Facebook and Twitter who are crying out for help, I want to help them, but I don’t find out their stories until after they’ve killed themselves.

I never want to get physical if I see someone getting bullied, and it’s been quite a long time since I stopped training, but I believe I would die for someone who is helpless; at least that’s what I tell myself. No one really knows what they would do until they’re in a situation.

Thanks for listening to my story. Really, thank you again, for everything.

D.P.

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A Little Says A Lot

My 11 yr old grandson was assaulted several times last year in a small WI school by another 5th grader. He had a sprained wrist, fractured elbow, mild concussion, and all the bully got was an in school suspension. It was not the 1st incident either. There was two choking incidents prior to that. It saddens me that children are so mean. I support everything you are doing. Thank you!

B.Z.