–UPDATE– Lindsay Lohan… SHOCKER!!! –UPDATE–


Celebrity Justice Served!  Lindsay Lohan will be bailed out of jail this weekend and must to wear a SCRAM alcohol-monitoring device, her third to date.

“An order has been signed by Judge Patricia Schnegg granting writ of habeas corpus,” court spokesman Allan Parachini confirmed on Friday. “Bail has been set at $300,000.” According to reports, “she is not allowed to be around known drug users … and must submit to search by law enforcement at any time. Additionally, nightclubs are not allowed… Lindsay has to stay out of places where alcohol is the ‘chief item of sale.’”

As reported earlier today, Lindsay was taken into custody after Judge Elden Fox denied bail and ordered that she stay in jail until her next hearing on October 22.

–Stay tuned to the YAK for updates–

Lindsay Lohan is heading back to jail.  Her mother is shocked… Her father is shocked… the whole world is shocked…  this celebrity injustice must be corrected!  The L.A. county jail system is already overcrowded as it is, therefore, how can we allow this saucy young actress to rot in unflattering prison orange… my goodness are we socialist?

It was widely leaked that she had failed a recent drug test, thus a violation of her probation… for if a mere civilian were to do this, it is understood that they should by all reasonable measure head back to jail and serve their full sentence without any form of clemency whatsoever.

But PEOPLE… we are talking about Lindsay Lohan here!  Yes, she has had her slight issues with dependency…  heck, every person has their vices, whom are we to judge, well, other than “The Judge” presiding over her case.

Americans need to take to the streets and start a “FREE LINDSAY” campaign to bring to the forefront her plight from celebrity justice.  Heck, it is almost equal to a jailed Nelson Mandela! If the people can free Paris Hilton after fifteen minutes, how can the people tolerate poor Lindsay being forced to once again don an orange jumpsuit against her fashionably free will? How can she be expected to be held by her lonesome, out of her mansion and away from the paparazzi in a cramped tiny 8-by-12 foot cell, where she must spend approximately 23 hours a day? That is a lot of hours to be spent in confinement with her thoughts and without the guidance of a script, only to be shortened on days when this poor girl is visited by her shocked loved ones.

We as Americans have an obligation to feel sorry for her, forget about Americans:  fighting in two meaningless wars, hunger, homelessness; after all they are just…. mere ordinary people. We are talking about Lindsay Lohan here and she will make a come back… because America loves a comeback!

Are you with me?  Sign our petition or just let us know what you think in the FORUM.

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