Yak Exclusive: Big Brother 13’s Shelly Speaks Out Against Bullying

As Anti-Bullying week comes to an end here at YakkityYaks, we want to be a reminder that ACTION leads to CHANGE. We hope we have gotten that across throughout the week as we have teamed up with past and present Reality TV Stars, our Forum members, and fans on Facebook and Twitter to bring an awareness to the anti-bully movement. Hopefully together, we can help put a stop to it, and help those currently stuck in the situation and in dire need of help or just someone to talk to. Just because the week is over, doesn’t mean the movement stars here. We encourage you to keep the momentum going and keep us updated on your own personal initiatives!

As one of our biggest supporters throughout this week, Big Brother’s Shelly Moore, has provided the Yak with her story as well. Shelly is probably fresh on the minds of many Big Brother fans after her time spent in the house this past summer, which housed “newbies” and alums of the game alike. Shelly is no stranger, as we previously reported, to cyber attacks after reports of threats to Shelly herself, her job and her family surfaced while she was in the house and may have lingered after. Dwelling on those experiences, among others, Shelly has joins our initiative with other reality personalities to share her story below.

____________________________________

I have never been bullied. That is a statement I can no longer make. It saddens me, it infuriates me, and it enlightens me. All too often in this world, we have the mentality of, it is not happening to me, so it can’t be that bad. It took hate, threats, jeers, and pure ugliness through the Internet, by people who hide behind sometimes clever, occasionally mean, and usually just a spur of the moment screen names for me to realize there is a problem much bigger than any of us realize. The harsh reality of “no one listens until someone dies” became more than a headline to me. I had become a statistic, obviously not one of the horrific suicides consuming young, barely a decade old children, but someone at the other end of the gun. A gun being pointed at me by people who don’t know me, but think they do through the popular TV genre called – Reality TV.

It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see that reality TV for the most part is an edited, made for TV drama. Its sole purpose is to create entertainment, garner huge ratings and advertisers, and create water cooler talk so people, often known as fans, come back for more. It is one of the most popular forms of television today, consuming prime time slots on nearly every major network. And oh yeah, if you can’t get enough, there are marathons that play endlessly on certain channels, and even channels that play nothing but reality drama day in and day out. You can see hoarders, addicts, celebrities (that were made celebrities through reality tv), prison stays, crazy police encounters, survivors in nearly every climate and survivable condition, races, and my personal favorite…house guests. Each year a new twist on reality is spun of golden thread, given a name, a network, a crazy cast of characters and off they go. And right alongside the show comes a cast of bigger characters who evaluate, blog, analyze, argue, converse, and develop opinions that in many cases are extremely polarized. It is very rare with reality characters that you would hear the statement “he or she is alright.” Instead, the casts of these “reality shows” are either gods and goddesses or villains. There is not too much in between. You’re either a character or you’re not and to be a character you have to have the traits the audience wants to cheer or jeer. You can be classified as a god or goddess if you’re hot, entertaining, funny, charming, kind, social, look great in a bathing suit, and say and do all the things the “audience” wants you to say and do. Occasionally you can receive the highest ranking for gameplay, but it really depends on who or what or how you got there. It doesn’t matter if the entire game is set up for lies, deceit, and manipulation. If you ever once utter you hope to not play that way, get ready for the so-called fans to eat you alive. It is possible to be deemed a god or goddess and then fall from grace, just as it is possible to be a villain and have redemption. It just depends how many times you get to play the game or if the audience chooses to let you sneak by.

Next Page

Yak Exclusive: A Video Message from Survivor’s Gillian Larson about Bullying


Anti-Bullying week continues here at YakkityYaks where we have teamed up with past and present Reality TV Stars, our Forum members, and fans on Facebook and Twitter to bring an awareness to the anti-bully movement. Hopefully together, we can help put a stop to it, and help those currently stuck in the situation and in dire need of help or just someone to talk to.

Below is a video message from none other than Gillian Larson. You may remember Gillian from Survivor Gabon, the 17th season of the Survivor Reality series. Gillian is one of the most adventurous, tireless and tenacious women we have ever known, who has led her life always trying to help others. A retired nurse of 41 years, wife and grandmother, Gillian spends her time traveling and just hanging out with family and friends. Gillian’s motto? “Believe in yourself and you can achieve anything!” Heck, she applied for Survivor 15 times! How is that for being tenacious and believing in yourself! She certainly fits the bill as role-model!

She is currently participating in a 60 mile walk for the Susan G. Komen 3 Day for the Cure this weekend! You can keep up with Gillian at her website HERE.

Listen to her video message below:
____________________________________

Anti-Bullying Week: “Triumphs Taste So Much Sweeter”

As you already know, YakkityYaks has joined forces with past and present Reality TV stars and fans just like you in honor of Anti-Bullying Week. We continue to feature stories from Reality TV personalities, members in our YakkityYaks forum, and fans from Twitter and Facebook. In an effort to join forces and increase awareness, we encourage you to share these stories with your friends and family and encourage continuous efforts to make a difference! We all are capable and we just hope that this motivates and encourages each and every one of us to take a stand and put a stop to bullying once and for all. YakkityYaks, don’t talk smack!

Read on below for another personal accounts from a fan on Twitter who felt so moved to submit their own personal and touching story, in addition to all of our other coverage today. Names have been changed to protect identities, but the stories are straight from the heart and unedited.

If you are interested in participating in our anti-bullying initiative by sharing your story, please contact JDMontgomery@yakkityyaks.com or ShellyBB13@me.com (Big Brother’s Shelly). Each and every story can bring about great change.

We also want to announce an exciting addition to our special features this week. Everyone who submits a story will be eligible to win a phone call from a reality TV personality!

___________________________________

“When I was a kid, and perhaps my young adult life, I assumed bullying had to do with being gay. I thought, only gay kids get bullied. Kind of like, how some associate racism only having to do with African-Americans. We all know both aren’t true. While many gay youth experience bullying, & many African Americans experience racism, we’re actually all prey to the predator we call, the bully.
Growing up in football loving- Midwestern Ohio, and attending private Catholic school, I experienced bullying at it’s worst. I remember what I just called “the 6th graders” (God they still scare me and I’m 30). One day running late into school I got stopped by one. The BIG one. Why the heck isn’t he in class already I thought? I’ll never forget his words that day, “listen you little faggot, we’re all watching you, if you run around here acting like a faggot or try out for basketball, I will bash your fucking face in, & kill you”.

Wow, right? Needless to say, I didn’t try out for basketball till 7th grade (when this 6th graders were 9th graders & I felt the coast was clear). Ironically one of our basketball practice drills were called ‘Suicides’. Where you ran the court back & forth four times till you just drop. It wasn’t so much my bullies words, or threats that scared me. It’s how I knew the teachers turned a blind eye, how the parents did nothing, how there was NO ONE to go to that made me feel hopeless.

On a side note, it’s a common misconception that gays, especially men, don’t like sports. Ever think we were scared or threatened out of playing? Funny how our military JUST repealed DADT, trying to scare people out of serving & protecting our great nation.

This leads me to my conclusion, that is, we are all bullied in some way, shape or form. Maybe we are the bully.  I recently read that as a child, Eminem was so severely beaten by bullies as a child he was in a coma for 5 days. I think it’s why gays were never offended by his lyrics, we knew it came from a source of pain. Heterosexuals are called faggots everyday. Young girls, who don’t even understand sexuality are called sluts & whores. I’d rather be the bullied than the bully. In a bizarre way it built character & strength, & made all my successes and triumphs taste so much sweeter. My face was never bashed in, but somewhere, lingering in the back of my mind I still think it could be.

Talk to your Mom, or Dad, or neighbor, someone you trust. Dont take matters into your own hands. It really does, as they say, “get better”, and think of things from someone else’s perspective. Who or what is that bully scared of that he or she is taunting you? That kid that threatened me? He was BIG. Overweight actually, for a 6th grader. I wonder how many times he was called ‘Fat’ on a daily basis. I wonder if he has kids now, & how as a parent he feels if his kids are being bullied. Remember, we all grow up eventually. The person you want to outcast, could be the very person who saves your life. I hope by writing this piece, I saved yours.

Ps – I grew up, have tons of friends & those days I was bullied seem like they never actually happened, but they did, & I survived.

~D.”

___________________________________

Glee’s Amber Riley Speaks Up Against Bullying

Thanks to one of our Twitter followers, @Marc_Higginboth, for pointing this out to us! We want to bring you a brief announcement from Glee’s Amber Riley (Mercedes) regarding bullying and the Anti-Bullying movement. Glee has tackled the topic of bullying in past episodes, but Amber has teamed up for the “Mean Stinks!” campaign to make a change for the better! In the video below, Amber lays out three very easy ways for people to help counter bullying, gossip and plain old negative attitude in our schools. Check it out below!

Don’t Miss Big Brother Jun’s Tips Too

In an effort to join forces and increase awareness, we encourage you to share these stories with your friends and family and encourage continuous efforts to make a difference! We all are capable and we just hope that this motivates and encourages each and every one of us to take a stand and put a stop to bullying once and for all. YakkityYaks, don’t talk smack!

__________________________

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nLwwhRIbqpA

Anti-Bullying Week: ” I really want to make a difference…”

Continuing our aim for the week, YakkityYaks will be joining with past and present Reality TV stars and fans just like you in honor of Anti-Bullying Week. We continue to feature stories from Reality TV personalities, members in our YakkityYaks forum, and fans from Twitter and Facebook. In an effort to join forces and increase awareness, we encourage you to share these stories with your friends and family and encourage continuous efforts to make a difference! We all are capable and we just hope that this motivates and encourages each and every one of us to take a stand and put a stop to bullying once and for all. YakkityYaks, don’t talk smack!

Check out Big Brother 11’s Lydia Speaking Out Against Bullying

Read on below for two personal accounts from fans on Twitter & Facebook who felt so moved to submit their own personal and touching stories, in addition to all of our other coverage today. Names have been changed to protect identities, but the stories are straight from the heart and unedited.

If you are interested in participating in our anti-bullying initiative by sharing your story, please contact JDMontgomery@yakkityyaks.com or ShellyBB13@me.com (Big Brother’s Shelly). Each and every story can bring about great change.

We also want to announce an exciting addition to our special features this week. Everyone who submits a story will be eligible to win a phone call from a reality TV personality!

____________________________

I was bullied and picked on all my life because I was fat. Turns out, there are worse things in this world than being fat.

Two notorious bullies from my elementary and jr high years are now dead. One from suicide, the other from heroin.

Another bully from jr high changed the oil in my car in our mid-twenties while he was working at a quick-E-lube. He was bald and fat in his mid-twenties.

It was difficult at the time they were picking on me…. but I was later able to see that what goes around comes around!

– E.C.

__________________________

Ever since as long as I can remember I have dealt with being bullied.

In the First Grade is when it began. I was raised to see everyone equally. I tried to be friends with everyone whether they were black or white, male or female, anything. In first through fifth grade, it was that big of a deal to me that the kids in my class would make up rhymes to taunt me and wouldn’t play with me at recess. That’s about all I had to deal through out those grades.

Than I went into middle school. I still remember my first week of middle school I was opening my locker and another kid came by and stole my binder and ran off with it. In the 8th grade I dreaded going to band class every day because two boys in that class did everything they could to upset me, but since I had been dealing with bullying all that time I learned to pretend they weren’t bothering me this lead to even worse bullying. When the teacher turned around they would hit me or when he left the room they would beat me up. No one else in the class would say or do anything about it. They just acted like it didn’t happen and I was afraid to tell the teacher because I thought it would lead to worse things happening.

I would go home everyday crying and telling my mom everything that happened and I was really depressed. All I did when I came home from school was sleep. That’s all I really remember about my 8th grade year of school is the bullying. In the Ninth grade I got a job and almost all the managers and my co-workers bullied me. The managers would give me clothes that were too small and make fun of me about it and one of my co-worker put a box cutter to my neck trying to scare me. (It worked!) As if work wasn’t bad enough I now had to deal with being a freshmen in high school. Just one of the stories from that year is I was at my locker and a group of guys came up to me and told me to give them my money or they were gonna beat me up, so I did. This happened almost every day until a teacher saw it and stopped it once I told her what happened. I was getting threats of being beaten up alot and the people in my band class would throw water bottles and rolls of paper towels at me when the teacher wasn’t looking. After I graduated high school it all stopped.

I was adopted the day I was born into a loving family with two parents who have adopted 9 children with special needs. Seeing some of my brothers and sisters get made fun of still bothers me. I talk to them and tell them about how I was bullied but it still doesn’t work. I really want to make a difference in any way I can. Even if it leads to the bullying starting over again I just want to help others. If there is ANYTHING I can do please let me help!!

Thank you for taking the time to read this,

M.H.

Anti-Bullying Week: Yakster’s Share Their Stories

As promised, throughout the week, we are featuring stories from our very own members in our YakkityYaks forum. These stories are volunteered from people who call our website their internet home and it is just another example of our personal feel and family attitude we pride ourselves in.

Just a reminder, the stories are unedited and real truths. We have only changed the names of those involved to protect their identities.

Here are two different accounts from Yaksters, both who wished to remain anonymous.

___________________________________

Okay, so here’s my story.

As a child I was and continue to be a bit hyper. I had some things happen to me that shouldn’t happen to any child and it affects me to this day. Made me very insecure with myself, who I was, what value I had as a person and whether or not I could ever trust someone enough to be intimate and not necessarily in a sexual way but moreso in a way that you fully expose yourself to a person (again, not that way) and trust that they wont’ belittle or make fun of you. I wanted to fit in with the kids at school but I never knew the right thing to do or say around them, couldn’t be myself really because I always thought that since things had been done to me I may not have been worthwhile enough to really like. I did have friends, but I was never popular or cool.

When I was in the fifth grade I went through a phase where I’d wear different color socks, swimsuit coverups as part of an outfit, and other oddities…thought that would make me cool but nothing ever seemed to work with the popular kids. They’d tell me I was weird, ugly, smelled….and the times they’d include me in things were the times they could use me for something I had. Such as, as stupid as this sounds, my collections of things like the California Raisins figures, Garbage Pail Kids cards, etc. They’d pretend to like me and because I wanted to be cool I’d give them some and then they’d make fun of me again afterwards.

It got worse in junior high. Puberty and body odor set in, B.O. was my nickname from 8th grade on. I had clinical acne in the 8th grade, and man they had a field day with that one. I’d get crushes on boys, and they’d ask me to “go with them” only to find out it was a joke. In the 8th grade I was out of school for a week due to an eye virus that nearly went through this paper thin bone that lies between your eye socket and brain, and when I went back my friends, fellow nerds, were concerned but many told me to my face I wasn’t missed.

I had I think a sum total of two or three dates in high school too and the thing is, I was a late bloomer. When I was about 16 I got a figure, in fact I remember one time I had to walk up to the teacher’s desk in high school and two of the popular guys said “She might be a freak but she’s got a great ass”…..but I still was so awkward, could never connect with a guy b/c I would always get a scared feeling in my stomach.

So while I was never told to kill myself or any of the nonsense you see today, I never quite fit in. The resonating effect of that hits to this day too. If you’re told over and over you’re not perfect, that you’re a dork, geek, spaz, ugly, you smell, acne face you start to believe it. I’m thankful I have a family who tells me just how wrong those people were, even without saying it, but showing it. But I’m still self conscious, still really want to fit in with people, and I still can’t trust some in certain areas b/c of something that happened, that should never happen and will I ever get past that? I don’t know.

But I will say this, for anyone that’s been bullied, or is right now. It gets better b/c all those people who made my life hell, who made me want to die and I did try twice and thankfully failed, have since grown and matured. All the “dorks” and popular kids now hang out whenever they can get together…..

~Anonymous Yakster

___________________________________

I was in seventh grade, and an eighth grader was always pushing me into lockers, walls, anywhere else I happened to be at the time. He also called me every name in the book. Finally, I got fed up with it all. He came up to me one day and tried to physically push me around again. I got up into his face and told him if he wanted to push me around anymore, he would have a fight on his hands because I wasn’t gonna take it anymore. From that day on, this guy left me alone.

~Anonymous Yakster

___________________________________

If you too would like to share your story with us, we would love to hear from you. You can contact us through the contact form at the top of this page, or send your story to JDMontgomery@yakkityyaks.com. The more stories there are, the more we can show others they are not alone in this fight.

Yak Exclusive: Big Brother’s Lydia Tavera Speaks Up Against Bullying

In accordance with our initiative this week, Big Brother 11’s Lydia Tavera took some time to send her thoughts, exclusively to the Yak, regarding bullying and the Anti-Bullying movement. Fans may remember Lydia with her unofficial partner of the game, Dae Yum Yum. Some may also remember her as part of the crew who grew extremely emotional when polarizing Jessie left the game that summer. Regardless of your impressions, stepping up for the cause is what this is all about. Here is Lydia’s story.

We would like to personally thank Lydia for stepping up and saying a few words about this important movement. In an effort to join forces and increase awareness, we encourage you to share these stories with your friends and family and encourage continuous efforts to make a difference! We all are capable and we just hope that this motivates and encourages each and every one of us to take a stand and put a stop to bullying once and for all. YakkityYaks, don’t talk smack!


____________________________

Okay, So… I’m Lydia Tavera from CBS, Big Brother 11. I am best known as the, “tattooed girl.” When someone sees my exterior appearance it’s obvious that I have a lot of tattoos. It’s safe to say I stick out in a crowd. My time spent on television was a whirl wind adventure to say the least. One of the darker sides of being on a national television show is harsh judgement by the world. The public feel they have to right to judge anyone they see on TV. I hate to burst the bubble but, “reality shows,” aren’t 100% real! Judging someone based on what is shown to you isn’t right. We have all done it, I know but what can be learned from people like myself is this, words have an impact. Words are heavy and things you say in person or on social media sites can impact a life. These words can hurt someones family and job. I have had my fair share of nasty comments said about me online. I have been called a wh*re, slut, tattooed trash, and been told that I shoulda killed myself. All those hurtful words have made me stronger. Every stone thrown at me is someone else projecting what they don’t like about themselves onto me. My tattoos are my armor, they make me different. Some people don’t understand others who are different and want to make things harder for them. Saying mean hurtful comments about someone for how they look, feel, act, or who they want to be is never right. I have learned to take the hurtful nasty comments and turned them into armor. Protecting myself, loving who I am and knowing that nobody is going to make me feel bad about who I am is the real power. With age I have learned this along with the fact that people who enjoy teasing others and sitting behind a computer trying to destroy someone’s character are the real cowards.

Never listen to somebody’s opinion of who you are and what your truth is. Don’t give someone else the power to make you feel bad. Hold your head up high and know in your heart that we are all different and that’s a wonderful thing. It’s so much easier to hate than to love, to judge and not accept. A phrase I often think about is “What’s popular isn’t always right and what’s right isn’t always popular.”

– Lydia Tavera, Big Brother 11

Anti-Bullying Week: “I felt as though nobody else cared either…”

All this week, YakkityYaks will be joining with past and present Reality TV stars and fans just like you in honor of Anti-Bullying Week. We will be featuring stories from Reality TV personalities, members in our YakkityYaks forum, and fans from Twitter and Facebook. In an effort to join forces and increase awareness, we encourage you to share these stories with your friends and family and encourage continuous efforts to make a difference! We all are capable and we just hope that this motivates and encourages each and every one of us to take a stand and put a stop to bullying once and for all. YakkityYaks, don’t talk smack!

Check out Big Brother 13’s Adam Speaking Out Against Bullying

Read on below for two personal accounts from fans on Twitter & Facebook who felt so moved to submit their own personal and touching stories, in addition to all of our other coverage today. Names have been changed to protect identities, but the stories are straight from the heart and unedited.

If you are interested in participating in our anti-bullying initiative by sharing your story, please contact JDMontgomery@yakkityyaks.com or ShellyBB13@me.com (Big Brother’s Shelly). Each and every story can bring about great change.

We also want to announce an exciting addition to our special features this week. Everyone who submits a story will be eligible to win a phone call from a reality TV personality!

______________________________

I will try to make a long story short as not to bore you with the uncomfortable details.

It really started in middle school. Sixth grade. Rude comments, dirty looks, snide remarks. I thought it was bad until I started high school. Then I prayed to go back to middle school. Middle school was hell and high school was worse. I remember on incident that is forever burned into my memory. I was walking down the hallway to class past “the popular group” and I swear all I could do was close my eyes and pray that day would be different. Nope. As I walked passed one guy stepped in front of me, so I stepped to the side and he did too. He knocked my books out of my hands and shoved me into a locker. Now, keep in mind this was my sophomore year and I’d been dealing with their crap for four and a half years already. I was pretty thick skinned by then. I picked up by books and went on my way without a tear or a word. They laughed, of course. I didn’t have friends, I had a few people I talked to in school, but nobody outside of school.

I didn’t care back then because everyone I had come in contact with was disrespectful to me, so I assumed everyone was like that. I didn’t care to have anyone to hang out with in fear they would only treat me the same way everyone else did.

I spent my time sitting a home, slowly distancing myself from my family and becoming a person I never imagined I would be. I slowly slipped into a depression that consumed every aspect of my life. My grades slipped, my teachers noticed something was different, but I, of course, said everything was fine when I was asked. My relationship with my parents was slipping away and I had minimal contact with them and my brothers. I got to the point where I didn’t care about anything. At that point in my life I knew exactly how a person feels just seconds before finally taking their life. I didn’t care if I lived or died, and I felt as though nobody else cared either. I remember sitting and making a list of who would care… I never finished it because I never wrote one name down. I felt that I pushed everyone away enough that they wouldn’t care if I was there or not.

It continue he’d even after I graduated. Adults aren’t always nice either. And then. It hit me one day. I was done. I was done letting everyone else run my life. I was done accepting those looks and comments from people who didn’t even know me. I was done accepting that I was less than worth it. I was done living my life in fear, fear of others and myself.

That’s the day I became a b*tch. That’s the day I stood up for myself. That’s the day I took my life back.

I’m now twenty five. Don’t get me wrong, there are still nights I cry myself to sleep because someone said something that hurt my feelings and it took me right back to high school, but I wake up in the morning knowing that I am worth it and I won’t be taking crap from anyone. I refuse to let others run my life with hatred.

People often joke about my “obsession” with my music. Music saved my life. And I don’t say that lightly. I say that honestly and I mean that with everything I have in me. Music became my escape from reality. I started listening, really listening to the songs and realizing, “Hey, the ‘person’ in the song got through that issue, so can I!” And still to this day, it’s my escape.

I know I said I was going to keep this short, but I failed. I hope it’s the kind of thing you were looking for and that my story helps someone else realize they they too can get through it.

I just want to be able to give someone else hope… hope for the future. I want someone to know that things can get better, but they have got to regain control of their life. I want at least one person to know that there really is someone that understands, that’s been there and that there are ways away from it.

One thing I encourage people to do now is tell someone. I pray that each child in that situation tells someone, anyone they trust (although when going through that, trust is a HUGE issue.) I encourage kids to find a teacher, parent, counselor, anyone they can tell. I didn’t tell anyone. Not one single person until a few months ago. Even after so many years, it was the hardest thing to do.

Love and hugs to you.

– J.S.

____________________________

Hi, my name is Alexis and I’ve been bullied. In elementary school, it was just minor things like having glasses and not having the “coolest” clothing and the way I walk. In fourth grade, two girls named Amanda and Nikki were the real tormentors. They got their friends on it and tried to get me in trouble by pushing me towards the teachers cars (never did get in trouble). Amanda would say stupid things like “I looked in her house and she was eating. (Guess I was a bit heavier than the other girls) In the African American community, hair is a very big thing. “Good hair” is long and silky. Mine wasn’t. Mine was short and short hair is considered “bald” to a lot of people, so I was often called bald.

Sixth grade came and I entered complete hell. Everyday was torture, from being called ugly and bald (for having short hair) to being called nerd. They would also often say I talked white because I talked proper. I’ve had books and food thrown at me. I’ve been scratched and kicked at. Had my shoes taken and thrown. It was awful. I let my grades suffer. Luckily, I wasn’t held back, but I did need a special transfer at the end of year for protection. (A lot of students ended up leaving because that particular school was horrible)

Seventh and eight grade was a bit better, but I was still being called ugly and bald. High school was okay, except for the boys who tried to make me feel like dirt by calling me ugly. I’m sad to say I often fought back instead of telling administrators, but I did not want my mom to worry to about me, as I’m her only child. She was so hurt about my time in sixth grade that I just didn’t want her (and administrators) to get involved.

I have often felt like if I were skinny with long hair, things at school would have been different. Things are okay now. The scars are still there, but I’m going to teach my kids that bullying is WRONG and to treat others they way they want to be treated.

– Alexis

Anti-Bullying Week: When Teachers Bully


I don’t think there is anything worse than when a teacher, a person that is supposed to be a role-model, a person who is supposed to be a safe place to run to for help, are the bullies themselves.

I, actually, had the unfortunate experience in dealing with one such teacher when my son was in 6th grade. You know, the time when kids are going through one of their most vulnerable stages, puberty. A time when they are learning about themselves, who they are and who they wish to become. My son was new in the school, a very small school, with only one class per grade. The children there already had built their relationships with others, so it was already hard for him to try and fit in. Well, along comes the teacher to show the other kids how they should treat him.

I couldn’t believe it. The stories he came home and told me… the things she would say to him… the things other parents overheard her saying to him as they walked by… and the coverup and accusations the school tried to throw back at my son. It was an extremely trying time as I’m sure you can imagine.

He had forgotten to bring in a paper once and she would lash out at him, telling him she doesn’t “want to see his face” and make him sit in the hall. It was constant. According to other parents, they told me she was notorious for it and always had one or two students in her class she would lash out at every year. What I didn’t understand was why no other parents were in an uproar over this? A child in 7th grade, his parent once told me, actually had to see a therapist because he was literally pulling his hair out with stress. She told me not to worry, that it “gets better in 7th grade.” Wait, what? That’s it? It just get’s better in 7th grade? So I should just tell me son to deal with it, it gets better in 7th grade? SHE’S A TEACHER!

It all came to a head at one point, with the school telling me my son was a liar, putting in the school bulletin a warning to parents not to “gossip” at drop off and pick-up. He even got suspended for 10 days because of my complaints. No wait, the school didn’t call it that. The school put him on “leave” until the teacher was ready to “look at him again.”

We got through it all eventually, the teacher was eventually let go, but not for a couple of years. The Principal also “retired” the same year. Why any child should have to go through that from someone that is supposed to protect them is beyond me. Unfortunately, it happens all the time. A recent story on MSNBC (Video below) shows a Special Needs student being bullied by her Teachers. Why become a teacher if you don’t care for kids? There are no words. Do NOT stand idly by if you see or know of this happening, like the parents at my son’s school who made us fight this battle alone. There is a child that needs your help. Next year, it could be your child and you fighting it alone.

Anti-Bully Week: My Personal Story

As you know, It’s anti-bully week and we here at YakkityYaks that have stories to tell are letting them rip! Along with Big Brother 13’s Shelly Moore, we here at The Yak are taking a headstrong stand against bullying and the life torment it creates. (Be sure to follow Shelly on Twitter HERE and follow us HERE.) It’s a hard, hard road on the other side of the bullying, and it’s time for those of us that have had this experience speak out and unite! We are NOT alone, and it does get better. Yes, the actions of others seem to stick with you forever, as you will learn with my own personal story below, but they don’t have to rule your life. You can overcome it, you can grow from it, and hey just maybe, we can make friends out of it. I think Shelly put it best when she compared the bullied to a piece of crumpled up paper. No matter how hard you try to straighten it out, even put a heavy book on it for years, the creases will never go away. It does “take a village” to protect our youth, and I for one am happy to be a part of that village. So, without further adieu, here is the story that I have, that since I was a kid, liked to always keep to myself… But today, for you, I will lay it all out there. Scary, but here we go.

________________________________

When I was a young, about 4th grade, I was transferred into a private school because of busing. The school district where I lived wanted to take me out of my local public school which was just right around the corner and transfer me to a school miles away. To combat that, my mother moved me to a local private school.

I was the new kid in a school where everyone had already grown up best friends. It was hard to adjust. I was also the kid that got into the private school because my dad did some construction work for them in exchange for part of my schooling there. The other kids, many of them, had parents that were loaded. Yep, the ‘ol rich kid/poor kid cliche. Well, I wouldn’t call us poor by any means, but by these kids standards, yeah, we were “without.” There were no uniforms at the school, so between me being the new kid and not wearing the designer outfits and shoes that most of the kids there had, I was pretty doomed socially from the start. I attended this school through the 8th grade.

I eventually made a few friends, not many, but the friends I did have were great ones. We met at what the majority of the students called “The Loser Table”… you know, where the “losers” sat to eat lunch. We were the misfits and at the very least, had others to share our woes with and boy, there were woes to be had.

All of us were taunted daily. Kids said the most ridiculous and mean things. I was chosen last for any games at P.E. even though I was pretty athletic and better at the games than most kids. In the changing room before P.E. they would make fun of me, my clothes, anything they could think of. I remember once being told that my bra was too high on my back… and they all would laugh. (So much for ever changing in the locker room again.) They used me to be mean to other people, singing that stupid K-I-S-S-I-N-G song if I would speak to a boy, only to have the boy get angry. (That felt great.) They called me a lesbian since I only hung out with my “loser” girlfriends. It was constant ridicule. I couldn’t even imagine how that would have felt if I actually were Gay and how kids today that are must feel.

When I would get invited back then to someone’s b-day party who wasn’t a part of the “loser table”, I would always believe it was sinister in some way. That maybe they wanted me to come just to be the entertainment. To poke fun at me. That never happened at the few I did go to, but now that I’m older, I realize I was invited probably because a parent made them invite everyone. Who knows. The ridicule made me paranoid of everyone’s motives.

High School changed EVERYTHING. I transferred to my local public High School where there were a lot more kids, kids that didn’t know me. I was a very, very pretty girl and had a lot of the boys attention. A LOT. The girls that tortured me daily were there, but at that point, they didn’t bother with me too much. Heck, I was getting more of the boys attention then they were at that point. I think they were actually a little jealous. That felt nice.

However, I wasn’t prepared for the attention I did get, and didn’t know what to do with it. For me, a girl with very low self-esteem at that point, attention was great. The problem became understanding that attention and what to do with it. Let’s just say, for a time, I had a hard time saying the word “no”, even when I wanted to. The one time I did actually say no, it didn’t matter, it wasn’t heard… or was heard and ignored, if you know what I mean. I won’t get into that here, but I’m guessing most will read between the lines on that one.

I did earn a nickname as a “tease” (which is better than some other nicknames that could have transpired, like slut or prude for instance.) I embraced the nickname. Damn right I was a tease! Now that I look back on it all, a tease keeps those boys on their toes now doesn’t it? You aren’t a prude, so they think they have a shot, but you aren’t a slut so they know they will have to put in some hard work to get it LOL! Looking back, I’m not real sure if that thought process was a good one or bad, but it did get me through it all.

The ridicule gave me self-doubt that followed me through-out my life, you know, the “creases in the paper” as mentioned above. Although I am much, much better today, a lot stronger, and a lot less caring of what others think, it still haunts me. There are days I still feel just not up to snuff. I don’t have many friends, mainly because I don’t let too many close. I like to call it self-preservation. However the friends I do have are great ones. I have encapsulated myself in my little world. There is safety within these walls, or is there? Yes, bullying affected me to my core and although the bullies are gone, I have carried their ridiculous words in my soul. It really sucks.

Needless to say, now that I am older and look back on all of it, it was a very hard time. I see pictures of myself back then and realize just how pretty I really was. (That sounds stuck up, doesn’t it?) Too bad I realized that a bit late. Self-esteem issues have plagued me all my life since then. It’s hard to let go of those, REALLY hard. You never really feel whole. There are times, even now, that I fall back into that hole and it doesn’t take much.

I learned a lot though. I try and treat others the way I would like to be treated. You know, what Grandma always said. I also overcame the “no” syndrome, able to not let people just walk all over me in the pursuit of acceptance. I have learned that what general “people” say really doesn’t matter. People that are strangers to me can think what they want. It’s their energy they are wasting. I have learned that It actually does get better. People who say that are right. It may not feel like it, but it truly does.

These people, these school mates, these assholes (for lack of a better (or worse) term) just don’t matter in the scheme of things. They are forced into your life now, but will be gone in a flash. I know, in this day and age, it’s hard. See, when I was a kid, home was my safe place, my sanctuary. Now, with Social Media, (Facebook, Twitter, etc.) the bullying can continue after school, on weekends, into the night… It’s hard to escape from. But again, those people will be gone in a FLASH. It seems like forever now, but it’s just a small snippet of your life. You CAN get through it. For all the rotten kids that talk smack, there are many, many more that you haven’t met yet that will be lost without you here. Plus, there are MILLIONS out there to talk to, have gone through it and can help. Hey, you always have a safe place to talk here at YakkityYaks. In fact, we are currently developing a place here just for that purpose, so stay tuned!

…And… let’s all hope Karma nails these jerky bullies to the wall. Yeah, I said it.

________________________________

If you too have a story you would like to share, you can contact us at JDMontgomery@yakkityyaks.com or webmaster@yakkityyaks.com. We would gladly get yours up here to share with everyone. We would also happily remove your name from the story if you would like. Just let us know in the e-mail. Also, you can come join us in the Forum HERE where we are all discussing Anti-Bully week!